What happened to my ex boyfriend?

I was with my ex for almost a year. He always said we were soul mates and that he would love me forever. It's a bit difficult, because he got kicked out when he was 16 and I think this affected his relationships with people, especially girls. He's 22 and his last relationship was when he was 16. I'm 24. Basically, the first half of the relationship we were madly in love with each other. The second half like any other relationship was difficult, the realisation that the honey moon period etc was over. I was always doing things for him and compelled too, I wanted him to feel as loved as possible and feel the love of someone else, as I don't think he has before. I found I'd do more things like make him food, help with stuff like university etc, but I realize I was trying to hold onto a slowly deteoriating relationship. I hated saying if I was angry etc, I wanted to be the perfect girlfriend. Out of the blue he stopped speaking to me, and only contacted me via email as he never has credit. I was so worried and he only contacted me, as I said it was unfair to make me worry about him as a human being. He said he needed space, and after asking him loads he said he was unsure about our relationship but that we were soul mates and that he loved me. A week later of being ignored I met up with his friend and went out for a few drinks, something she'd offered before he'd technically broken up with me and I'd been volunteering at a place he was that day and was the first time I'd seen him and he ignored me. I got so drunk because I'd not slept or eaten and ended up being a drunken upset mess. His friends took me to go see him and I remember him just walking off and leaving me in the middle of nowhere. Instinctively I got a taxi to his, as I usually would. I don't remember a lot but we slept together and afterward he said he had no feelings for me so I left early hours in a taxi distraught. A few days had passed I went to visit my best friend in London who is going out with his best friend. I was so worried about him, as he seemed to be off the rails. His best friend convinced him to speak to me after days of cold thaw. I spoke and he just said he felt trapped by our relationship, that he realized he hadn't been happy in a while, but still no apology for breaking my heart. He emailed me this long cold politician like email saying how he knew id do well in life etc and that I'd be fine. It's really bad, but I knew his password for his email and saw he'd sent to his step dad horrible message about me saying I was a crazy ex girlfriend and that I was coming to his mums house to wreck their night (total lie) he's added loads of girls on fb that he used to sleep with and said he'd never touch again because he hated them and found them cold/boring. He's blocked me on Facebook, ignores me and I orgiinally suggested to be friends and be mature for the sake of having to volunteer together. However, I realized how stupid that was when I saw him yesterday and he ignored me. I

I text him saying you're vile so glad we didn't go for coffee iw ant nothing to do with you ever again. and it made me feel better, but out of the blue how can someone stop loving you, there's been no arguments and be so cold, and tlel you two days before they do. He's also going though a rut of tryint to find work after uni and find himself etc, whereas I'm working loads. Also we went away together on holiday in September, and then I stayed at his for a week because I was skint. please help.
I've decided to move to London in a few months and get a fresh start I've told him this too.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I know exactly what you are going through.

    I went through this with my ex. We were madly in love and would always tell one another how much we loved one another. After almost 2 years together we hit a point where we didn't have time to always be with one another. We had like one hour of time to ourselves. I hit the point where I realized it needed to change and I was willing to do something to make it worked. I had told her my intentions of asking her to be my wife. One day she told me we need time apart. I didn't understand, I sent her messages from time to time asking what was going on and why she ignored me. A short time later I found out she had been with someone else and she didn't want me to know. We finally talked about it after I found out and she gave me the line that I deserve better than her and I could do better. After that we tried to remain friends but every time we spoke I got the impression that she didn't want to actually talk to me. Eventually she stopped sending me messages. I haven't sent her anything anymore. I look at it as I was ready to commit my life to someone I thought the world of and they couldn't even tell me when they no longer wanted to be with me.

    I think moving to London is a great idea for you. I went from California to Michigan following what happened to me and it was just fantastic. It was exactly what I needed. I think a fresh start and the chance to meet new people without constantly being reminded about that is what you need.

    There are people out there who have had to deal with things like this, I admire you for being honest and mentioning all of this. If you ever want to talk about what happened I would be willing to listen and try to help.

    • Thank you! Yes I think it would be a good move, I updated it on my other question! I'm slowly getting there, but it's so painful

    • It still hurts doesn't it?

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What Girls Said 1

  • sounds l1ike he was l1ieing to you after the honeymoon phase went away,some guys are douche bags,he lacks maturity because a real man would have tal1ked to you about it not lead you on and drop you cold,u will heal but it will hurt for a while and you really can't blame his mom for his behavior, there are a lot of kids who grow up fine without their parents

    • worst thing is we work together weds afternoons, so I can't get out of not seeing him :( help

    • just smile a lot while you are around him so he thinks you are doing just fine without him