Why won't he talk to me?

I know "he" is the only one who can truly answer this, but I am still looking for some male insight. I broke up with my ex of 3 years in August 2008. We continued to be intimate until the end of Nov at which time I found out he had a rebound girl (in aug) and never told me. I got very angry, punched him and said to never speak to me again. He began talking to her again, and they are still sleeping together to this day. (NOT boyfriend gf) I regret blowing up at him and do not blame him for having a rebound as I know the break up killed him. However, over the last 6 months I have called him pathetic and a loser ( I never really meant it, I was hurt). So now, the past 2 weeks, I have been trying to tell him that I miss him (my wounds have healed and I can accept the fact that he had a rebound) and he won't talk to me. He will only text me and say " I don't know how you can miss me, I've never had someone call me pathetic so much in my life" I've texted him back and said for him to believe it...that I do miss him, and I want him back in my life. I've also asked that if he does not see us getting back together, to just say so and I will leave him alone but that I am not going to take NO ANSWER as an answer. He will never directly answer me, will not say whether or not he wants me in his life in the future, just says how he does not believe that I miss him. He is also still hooking up with this girl. GUYS - do you think he wants to be pursued, or is he just making me suffer? When I tell him to say to leave him alone if that's the case, and he doesn't answer at all...is this saying he is unsure? I want to pursue this guy with all I've got, but I'm scared... what does he want, and WHY won't he just ANSWER me?


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What Guys Said 1

  • -"Never talk to me again"



    All of those above terms are negative verbal communication - As human beings, no one wants to be "put down" in essence. These types of comments will always get a bad reaction because it either puts them on the defensive (making them silent) or even an offensive (making them aggressive).

    With this being said, he probably isn't talking with you out of fear or aggression - where he feels you will try to snap at him again and he will either go through the same pain, or finally stand up to you and yell back. Either way, you don't need it and neither does he.

    With that being said, the guy has moved on to another woman. Be happy for him.

    Also, for the future - try to limit the verbal words you use to communicate.

    Best regards,


    • Thanks. I know, all the stuff was said AFTER the break up and only via text. I guess I didn't really think about it because I never truly meant it. Anyways, he answered me last night ironically right after I wrote this haha. He does not ever see us getting back together. Sooo glad I have an answer now though. :)

    • That sucks to hear, but at least you two are talking - let me know if you have any more questions~


What Girls Said 1

  • I think because you have called him all those names and have broken up with him the past he has been hurt by your deeply like you said. I can understand it was because you were hurt by him but he might of token it another way. It sounds to me that he isn't giving you direct answers because he does still have feelings for you. He can't tell you a direct answer because he feels like he might have doubt. When he said" I don't know how you can miss me, I've never had someone call me pathetic so much in my life" I think because you called him names he feels like maybe you hate him so much and it confuses him that you miss him now. if you really do love him still you can tell him that you said all those things because you were hurt by him. Being honest with him is the best way for him to tell you what he feels about the situation.

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