My wife admitted to cheating on me!

The guy was supposed to be my "best friend". For five or six years they had an affair (even in my own bed and my son's bed). I never caught them, she finally told me about it and said she loved me and would never do it again.

and will never see or talk to this man again, should I forgive her, and how can I ever get my trust back, and get this knife I feel is sticking in my back out? how long before the pain goes away, because I don't even want to live anymore, it hurts so bad.

The guy's got an a** kicking when I see him, but should I trust her again?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's a good motto to live by: "Make your mistakes, but no second chances."

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    • Yes sir and we wonder why there is so much domestic violence and why so many men are staying single...it's not worth it getting into relationships..smh

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    • Yeah this bitch IMO. No mercy. You're still young. Live free bro.

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What Girls Said 7

  • No, you shouldn't. Not only did she do it more than once, but she also kept doing it for 5-6 years. Which says a lot about how much she respects you and your marriage. Don't forgive her. Your wife is just as guilty as the guy she slept with. Don't let her off the hook.

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  • To be honest if she truly loved you she wouldn't have cheated upon you. That should tell you what decision you should make.

    Moreover, by sleeping in your marital bed and your sons too - they've shown a carelessness to your feelings and disrespect. I think you should leave her. Once a cheater always a cheater

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  • Wow this is a tough spot to be in, and I honestly have to give some time and thought to give you a well thought out response. But I think a counselor, if you stay with her, needs to step in and help fix things.

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  • This seem to be the most common issues nowadays-infidelity.

    If a relationship is really that strong, both parties would not cheat.

    I don't believe a person who commit such act and later tell me he love me..if he truly love me he wouldn't hurt me just like your case. furthermore she did it on your bed and you son's bed, are you able to take it?

    i can never forgive someone who betray me, if I can be faithful why can't the other person?

    it is up to you to decide whether you wanted to trust her again.

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  • Divorce her

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    • You know what I find hilarious? Women are always bitching and complaining about how hard it is to find a good and decent,caring man out there, YET they do malicious and cold blooded stuff like this..I mean really though?

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    • Exactly..I know a man shouldn't hit a woman but things like my situation make me want to reconsider sometimes.

    • i know what you mean

  • Break up. Just do it.

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    • There is NO RECOVERY for this marriage.

      Got to get started with the process on Monday SIX YEARS STRAIGHT OF CHEATING! this marriage is FUBAR.

  • You're stupid if you'll trust her again. A leopard doesn't change it's spots.

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    • She's dead to me TRUST THAT! My brother picks him up and is going to start bringing him to my house from now on

      Thank you:-)

What Guys Said 7

  • If she told you, it means she doesn't want to lose you and it means she's unhappy with what she did.

    For your own peace of mind, just forget about what your wife told you. It happened, you can't change the past. Think about the future. Revenge is no option.

    You'll have a better wife if you forgive her. Ask her why she did it. Eventually, consider an 'open marriage'.

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    • Forgetting the betrayal implies that he should trust her and continue on in their marriage as he once did. I'm sorry, but I disagree with you. The reverence for my woman would almost instantly dissipate if I found out she allowed another man to touch and experience her as I do. I would not want to live the rest of my life with that image, another putting his lips and parts on and in my woman. Call me selfish, territorial, or whatever, but I have to be the only one! I won't settle!

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    • QA, reread your post.

    • I never implied a man owns his wife. I stated that I would never stay with a woman if she had an affair. My self-esteem is healthy, to say the least, and I would move on after such a betrayal. I would not want to be with someone that would hurt me in such a profound manner as all.

  • I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, Your Friend Was In The Wrong For Hitting On Her Dont Get Me Wrong But Your Wife Is More To Blame, He didn't Rape Her & He didn't Put A Gun Up To Her Head, He ALLOWED It To Happen, She Wanted It As Bad As He Did, Dont Trust Your Wife & Definitely Dont Go Back To Her, Move On, Try & Stay Positive...

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  • Your "best friend" isn't! He did wrong by you in a strong way. But more importantly, he did not enter into a relationship and a contract with you to hold you as the most important person and one he will never cheat on. That is what your wife did and her actions were much worse than his. I question that she could carry on with him for five or six years while still respecting you at all. It may be that he is breaking off with her and so she is trying to let you know about it before you find out otherwise and trying to bounce back to you, but only because she is losing him and you are there. Whether you forgive her is up to you, but keep your head and not just your heart involved in the decision.

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  • No, leave her man, that kind of betrayal is unacceptable. Six years? Fuck, man that's rough.

    I would advise against beating this man up, If you attack him, rage will take over and you could easily end up doing something that you can't take back.

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  • This song describes what you should do: https://www.YouTube.com/watch?v=Qd8-IYovLRQ

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  • No... to be truly speaking... You must NEVER forgive her. She satisfied herself by sleeping with not any other guy but your best friend. Now after that she is trying to lure you coz ahe cannot afford to loose relationship with you owing to your son and her growing age. She knows she might remain single for rest of her life and may he realized that he was using her for sex.
    They both played her game. Now after all enjoyment she is coming back. But if you are compromising your relationship for your son then i understand.
    Sorry to say man but your wife acted like a slut and you must tell your son one day how his mother was.
    Must suck being a nice guy. We can be fooled so easily.
    Now depends upon you... if you leave her then say "it's too late" with smile.

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  • I'd just break off all contact with both of them.

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