Is she playing games with me? Looking for attention? What?

Ok so this married girl I work with and I have become friends over time. When I first started she would give me a deer in the headlights look, and the first time I stopped her to talk she turned red as a tomato and could barely get a word out. Slowly over time she has become more comfortable with me and we have seemingly matched our break times to be around each other so we can chat. This happens almost everyday.

Over time I have started to grow stronger feelings towards her and have began to withdraw myself from her well because she is married. Changing up my routine on her so as not to see her. But, by doing so she will come looking for me wondering what is wrong, and if I do it for long she seems to become sad by this. It is a constant cycle, back and forth, up and down. I am pretty confident that she probably does not have much experience with guys based on her shyness and how she acts. I have noticed that she will flirt with a buddy of mine in front of me and watch me to see how I react. If I turn to walk away she runs after me. If it is the three of us she is focused entirely on me. My gut feeling is that she wants me to make a move on her, but obviously it will never happen because she is married.

I just want to know what is going through her head, or what her motive is. It is just super crazy to me, we have these inside jokes together and her eye contact is like she is in love with me. I can't tell if she just enjoys my attention, or if she is playing me? What is going on ?

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  • It's more likely that she thinks the change is in you. However she sees the connection between you. it suddenly changed and she has no idea why. Whether she saw this as strictly friendship or she wanted more, the change is going to sadden and confuse her. Her reactions after that make sense from that perspective. Would it not feel right to tell her that your friendship seemed to be getting inappropriate since she is married? At least then she would understand why you backed away. You don't have to tell her about your feelings for her to have that conversation.

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    • Thanks. I don't understand what you mean by she thinks the change is in me?I am confused?

    • That is, you're behavior suddenly changed. As far as she knows, nothing she did brought that on. So I don't think you can say that she's playing games with you.

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