Shy guy? Nice guy? Or just not that into me?

I'm more aggressive aggressive than him. Previously, I had made the first move, and he responded positively, now I kinda want to hear him pipe up!

I was casually seeing this guy for about 4 months (sex only), then moved away for 9 months (for work). We never had strings attached, but we stayed in touch and it was chill.

I moved back this summer (for work again), was heartbroken about a guy I met while I was away, so even though me and this current guy, had been in touch, I was taking things slow and we did not sleep together or hang out. This month, we started flirting over text -- almost all of of our communication is over text.

I like him. I'm attracted to him. When I run into him, we chat for hours. He hasn't asked me out. But, I did go to his place twice; once to "watch tv" and another time because it was just so late when we left the bar together.

It took him 3 hours to make a move -- and his move was simply to put his arm on my leg...eventually, it became more, but I told him I couldn't sleep with him, and we just slept.

I should mention, the 3 hours was spent talking: him telling me about his relationship with his father, and talking about his childhood...

This month, a family member of mine was ill overseas, and he offered me his air miles to fly me there. I didn't take it, but it was so kind of him.

I'm still overseas, and beyond checking in once, he's not really contacting me anymore...I will eventually be headed back to where he is...but he hasn't even asked me when I'll be back...he doesn't seem interested?

Is he just not that into me?

Is he just a nice guy?

Am I just the convenient girl to talk to, and fool around with?

Updates:
Thanks @talloak. That was my first question on this forum, and it's really refreshing hearing honest, and direct perspective! I guess this means I have to shake my nerves about telling him how I feel! I won't be back in the same city as him for another 2 weeks, but I will plant the seeds over text that I want to hang out :) Step in the direction of "removing mixed signals" hopefully...

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  • He doesn't sound shy. This relationship is pretty complicated by your FWB past. It makes it harder to transition into more for both of you at the same time. When you keep saying you're not ready for something serious, you are telling him to back off. So it's not surprising that he did. While it's not clear how he would respond if he felt more invited to pursue you, you need to remove these mixed signals. Try to find a way to make it more clear that while you need to go slow you are interested in going forward slowly with him.

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    • Thanks @talloak. That was my first question on this forum, and it's really refreshing hearing honest, and direct perspective! I guess this means I have to shake my nerves about telling him how I feel! I won't be back in the same city as him for another 2 weeks, but I will plant the seeds over text that I want to hang out :) Step in the direction of "removing mixed signals" hopefully.

  • Glad to hear there are some girls out there that initiate

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