Why is my ex-boyfriend treating her better than me?

By some really weird way, I have just found out my ex-boyfriend of a year has taken his girlfriend on a lovely trip to Paris and there are loads of pictures of them all romantic and lovey-dovey. When I was with him he wouldn't take me anywhere. I said a number of times how much I wanted to go to Paris, but he would just say sometime in the future maybe. I was always hopeful. He wouldn't even take me out to dinner and always refused to have photos with me, even though he said I was beautiful.

I know I need to get over this hurt, but I am just so down trodden and keep asking myself why her and not me? He was emotionally abusive throughout our relationship and I got fed up and broke up with him. He said he was devastated but 4 weeks later he already picked up this girl, and some of our mutual friends obviously thought he was wrong because they all started texting me if I was OK, when they changed their relationship status on Facebook.

Sorry I know I have asked loads of questions on this break up, but I just cannot get over the hurt. Why is he treating her better than me? Anybody know how I can get over it?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know what's in his mind but maybe he was really devastated from the break up with you and learned from your relationship, he is doing with her the things you wanted him to do with you, maybe at the time you wanted he just couldn't take you to Paris or something or if you have waited longer or give him the chance he could be doing these things with you, but as you broke up, while he was devastated he was analyzing the relationship, what went wrong, how can he improve himself and all those things, and that's why the next girlfriend gets a better version of him, that's what we all do isn't it? Learn fRom our mistakes and improve ourselves, now about how to get over it, stop having contact with him, like stop stalking fb or looking at his pictures, if you have mutual friends tell them you don't want to know anything about him, if they are not close friends just hang out with the rest of your friends that aren't friends with him, get rid of anything that reminds you of him, if you don't feel like you can burn or trash stuff, put everything inside a box and leave it somewhere in your house where you don't see it everyday/ all day long, like hidden somewhere, now if your ex has a girlfriend doesn't mean you need to get a boyfriend asap, use this time for yourself, think about the relationship too, learn fRom your mistakes, think about what you don't want your next boyfriend to be/have , find a hooby, do the things you like, work out, keep your mind busy :) don't run into any relationship while you still have feelings for him. Focus on yourself for now.

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    • Yes I think you are right. I am just thinking the worst of him at the moment, but that is a nicer way to think about it. He did say at the end that he loved me so much and didn't want to let me go because he wanted to get married one day. I explained to him for that to happen he would need to treat the next girl like a princess and with respect. Maybe he has taken that on board and realized what he needs to do

      Thank you for your comment & I will definitely try all the things you mentioned :)

    • Oh I didn't know you told him that, then maybe he is trying to be better and the break up really affected him, I think everyone in their lives have a relationship that changes them in a positive way, there is always that special someone we once loved and we messed something up and when the break up comes our lives change thanks to that person and what he/she meant to us, in a perfect world we could be friends with that person forever after the break up, but in the real world we need to let go.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Now you're obsessing. Get on with your life.

    But to answer your question: He didn't like you that much. Now get over him.

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  • Stop following up on him, and find someone else.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I'm feeling this same way. Exactly. How did you cope? Please help! Thanks and lots of love.

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  • He is treating her better because she is 'the one', or, at least, closer to 'the one' than you were for him. It is not a reflection of you, this is simply what his heart wants. He treats her better because he values her more. There is nothing you can do to change that. Put him in your past, where he belongs.

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    • yeah I know, just hurts when they told you they love you everyday and you put your heart and soul into something and I was just left with nothing, while she seems to be getting all the good treatment. I never seem to be 'the one' for anyone. Thank you for your comment.

    • The right one for you will put you first, you just haven't met him yet (most likely), chin up!

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