My husband cheated multiple times when we were dating but I still think about it today. I don't know what to do.

Me and my husband were dating for 3 &1/2 years and we've ben married for a month. I moved to texas to be with him and I left my family and friends behind in florida to be with him coming here not knowing anyone. The first couple weeks were good , he didn't have his Facebook activated. He re-opened his Facebook , before he re-opened it there wasn't no females in life but me & his mother. Now in his phone and on Facebook he still associates with his Ex's( the ones he cheated on me with) he say their goof friends but I don't know. I asked him does he have feelings for any of them he said yes but not enough to leave his wife. I hate the fact that he goes off & tells thus particular ex I really don't like our issues at home , and she has crossed her boundaries once already by telling him that we se shouldn't have kids because we argue to much. Also I kinda peeped through his Facebook and I notices he comments on her boobs and everything. Him and this one particular ex talks EVERYDAY NON-STOP and she gets mad at him for not texting her all day or even an hour... I asked him does she know that she is just a friend, he tells me he tell her but I have not seen it. Also he still flirts... I've cut off everyone for him.. he thinks I'm being paranoid that he might leave me or that some other girl will take my place and HE KNOWS SHE WANTS MY PLACE.. He still continues to talk to her, Last night we got ito a huge fiasco of what I've been feeling(I was intoxicated) I told him that I felt uncomfortable with him talk to the females he cheated on me with me & he gets upsets and says that we should get an Enullment because he say I don't trust him. we were great before the females came back into his life.. & Eversince he told me still has feelings for a few I now feel like I'm not the only one he's thinking about... I'm just confused cause I really wanna keep this marriage... I feel like he's giving up.. all I want him to do is stop talking to them. he gets really upset when I tell him how I feel and so I just shutup so he doesn't get mad with me and overtime everything builds up on mind on what I wana say but I'm scared too.. My heart is heavy.. this is the only thing bothering me in this marriage .. everything else is wonderful ! :(


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is really sad. I was in a similar situation as you last year with my first boyfriend who I used to love so dearly. I broke up with him and though it was really hard, I didn't look back. Yes, I still think about him at times, but I am with a man that doesn't do things like flirting with girls on Facebook.

    The worst thing is that I also confronted him about it, and he did no change, he was never going to.

    I am sad for you cause your relationship is more that just dating, you are married. I do not know what to say, I am only 20 years old. Maybe you can ask your parents for advice, especially your mom, she loves you and she will know what to say to you.

    All the best!


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What Guys Said 1

  • My future wife will probably end up posting a similiar story like this.


What Girls Said 1

  • Since talking about it with him doesn't seem to help, I think you should leave him. The things he does are really inappropriate, and what is worse, he doesn't even think that way and doesn't seem to want to change them anytime soon. Usually I'd say if something's broken, try to fix it before you get rid of it, but your situation seems to be going nowhere, plus the fact that he cheated on you multiple times before doesn't help either, and he also said he has feeling for them. I bet if the roles are reversed he wouldn't be so understanding and tolerant. This time (not intoxicated) you should try to explain to him that his actions are really hurting you and tell him exactly what and why. If he still insist you're being paranoid and won't change, he's just trying to make you feel guilty, so if it comes to annulment or divorce, you'll be the one to blame and not him.


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