How do I stop my boyfriend's girlfriend from meddling and trying to get his attention?

I live with this man and his girlfriend who previously asked him out before we got together keeps trying to get his attention. She also told him that I was mean to her, when I was not when briefly talking to her. I think she plays the victim and I told him that she still has a thing for him but he refuses to admit to it. So whenever I bring her up, he says that I am making this up in my head and to stop. She texts him almost daily telling him what she is doing and invites him over and comes up with reasons for him to see her like something broke and she wants him to fix it. Help, I do not know how to stop this behavior. I can't go to her because he will freak at me but he will not see clear cut behavior on her part. by the way, they also are business partners, lived together in a communal house, and previous to him meeting me, spent a good deal of time together. I don't think she still wants him sexually but I do think they used to have like a marriage but without sex and I think she wants it back. He claims that she bugs him and that he really doesn't want to spend time with her but then he goes right back to speaking with her. Even though I told him it bothers me, instead of telling her to leave him alone, he says that I should not worry because he is not going anywhere and that I am making it up that it is an issue. We plan on spending the rest of our lives together and currently live together already. Help, I need real steps to counter her manipulative ways since I am not a manipulative person. Ideally, I would like her to go away but worry that she will be a thorn in my side for the rest of my life.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh that's bad I don't know if I can help you since this has never happen to me, but if I were you I would be very clear to her and tell her to leave my man alone...i would also be very clear to him because if he trusts you he should believe what you are saying about her. They also seem to get along very well since he is trusting her over you. Why are they meeting up and spending time together? I would never ever let that happen. If I were you I would fight back and be manipulative to her as well and give her, her a taste of her own medicine and show her the dark side of me. To him I would make him jealous too to show him how it feels like and if he carries on taking her side and calling you a liar I would leave him there's plenty of fish in the sea you can meet a guy better than him. Like I said this is what I would do and I am sorry if I couldn't give you a better advice.

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    • Thanks for the response. The problem is that if I went to her directly, he will be at me. He is jealous of men being friends with me already. Are there ways to manipulate her? They are business partners as well but she tries to talk to him almost every day...that is weird I think. Any ways to get him to see she is really the one lying? She is playing him like an instrument.

    • I really don't want to mislead you, but I would bully and scare her undercover...without him knowing nor finding out at the same time make him feel really crazy about you and make sure your his favorite girl. If he comes at you then tell him she's lying are you going to believe me or her? Or make it clear to him and her. Show him what a manipulative little bitch she is.

    • This is just something I would do, but you know how the situation looks so please just do what you think is right.

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  • I'm confused...he's your boyfriend but he has a girlfriend? He's dating both of you?

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