Can girls make the first move?

I can't drive and though I'm 20 my parents don't let me date. I have always been very flirty with boys but stopped after getting into college. I have been doing better in school without the distraction of boys, I'm not sure if I want to step out of my comfort zone and get distracted again. I barely know this guy but I have sat next to him in class for three months now. I really wanna make the move but I'm unsure if it would look desperate. And I'm embarrassed that I can't drive, date, and have a curfew. I'm really protected .. should I tell him honesty about my parents being overprotective of me?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You've got a couple questions here that have VERY different answers.

    First, based on your life situation, it sounds like you are better off not asking this guy out and staying focused on your schoolwork. This is primarily because you already know that doing so has had a positive effect on your life. Add to it the restrictive nature of your life's circumstances and the lying and hiding and avoidance of the truth you'd have to do to pursue him, and it just makes everything too complicated to be a reasonable option.

    Second, if your just asking about looking desperate and girls asking guys out - heck yes they can and should! Most guys like a girl who can take charge and know what she wants. In fact, plenty of guys find it sexy and appealing, so long as the girl isn't emasculating about it (and even that can be sexy and fun at times). In this day and age, it is rarely seen as desperate. It only looks desperate if you approach it hesitantly or timidly as if you are unsure of yourself or don't know what you want.

    Confidence is key, and even if you flame out, do so with your head held high, cause there are plenty of other fish in the sea and a guy who turns you down does so at his own loss.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Yes girls can make the first move! ?? go ahead remember we ask girls out so when girls ask us out it just makes life that much easier it doesn't have anything to do with being desperate lol, girls like guys...but for some reason they hide it ??...don't hide it ??

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  • Regarding the parents issue, you'll soon be 21 so if you really want to get independent, it's a matter of months, and of finding a job.

    Regarding this guy, if he's a nice person, he'll understand your current situation. But don't talk about making a "first move". Just start to talk to him, and you'll see if he's interested in going further.

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  • YES YES AND YES! girls can most certainly make the first move! people are conditioned to think that men are the leaders and have to make the first move, though that may be the ideal situation for most girls its very counterproductive for girls looking for a man. I hear all the time my girlfriends complaining about not having boyfriends but also not being proactive and doing anything about it! talk to him, get to know him better suggest start hanging out. Wait till you get closer and see some positive progress to bring up the protective parents thing. He may feel as if you are coming off too strong and get scared. Be friends first then date, those work out for the best I believe. So get out there and make the first move! break the chain! I wish you the best of luck :)

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  • If he's a nice guy then he should understand you saying that your parents are super protective. Its truly not your fault that your parents are like that. Good luck

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  • I don't see a problem with it, in fact I welcome it

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  • also communicate with your parents

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  • I really do not see anything wrong with a girl initiating, wish it would happen more often

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  • Girls can totally make the first move and honestly is often best, so tell him about your parents. They are not at all the only ones like this in the world.

    But please, please, please, don't flirt just to flirt. I hate that

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  • They can make the first move, they just don't.

    "I'm unsure if it would look desperate"

    To whom? Him? It won't. Ever.

    To other girls? Sure, they'll say it's desperate, but only because they are too cowardly to do it themselves.

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