The question or title says it all really. I feel so low sometimes, I have thought about jumping off a bridge or taking an overdose.
To put it simply a few months ago I finally got the balls to come out of a controlling and abusive relationship. My ex bad mouthed me to everyone, destroyed my christian faith, said I wasn't as christian as he was (he was christian too), made me feel utterly inadequate/worthless. He would insult me, never take me anywhere, accuse me of taking his money, when I never demanded anything ( I was happy with a dvd and a quiet night in). I was a lot poorer than he was when we were going out and I think he saw me as a charity case that he could control and manipulate. I did whatever he wanted. I felt destroyed after and couldn't believe where the confident young woman I once was had disappeared to.
To top it all, he got a girlfriend 4 weeks after breaking up and he keeps rubbing it in my face how amazing his life is with her, she knows all his friends already, they have been on holiday twice already.
In that time as well I started a new teaching job, moved to a new city, so thought I had something to focus on, only to find my boss was an a**hole. He gave me really tough classes, I was assaulted by kids a number of times, some of the kids were on drugs, screamed at, patronised by other staff, threatened to be beaten up by kids parents on a daily basis. Was refused access to a toilet in the working day. In the end I felt so ill and depressed I had to resign from my job with depression and they threatened not pay me.
So as you can see I am alone in a city I barely know, have no friends, no job, am worried sick about how to pay my flat, and all I can think about is the rejection and way I was treated by my ex who after all that time, couldn't care less whether I am dead or alive. In fact I don't think anyone cares.
Maybe I should just leave this god forsaken world to stop the pain.
Suppose I would just like a few words of comfort.
Most Helpful Girl
:( please don't. You are better than that. Don't let a dumb loser Ex and a terrible job defeat you. There is always another man and amazing job awaiting for you. At least you can say they are no longer in the picture and you can start from scratch. I don't know how your hearing things with your Ex, but do whatever you can to completely cut your Ex out (phone #, Facebook, photos etc.) You don't need the abuse and if he was abusive with you he'll probably do the same with his current girlfriend. It'll definitely take a long time to get over him, but it does get better. Get yourself involved with like yoga/zumba classes, something that can get your mind off of things and make you feel good about yourself. Good way to meet people too! If you still feel this way I think you should definitely talk with someone professionally. Some things take time to get over, but hang in there!