Should I just move on?

Exactly what the title says. She's had on and off feelings for me for 3 years. We talk every day, I tell her she's beautiful, compliment her a lot. Long story short she told me she wanted to stay friends, and that she "Tried to picture us as a couple, but she couldnt". I don't deserve anything from her, but I know she deserves someone above average. I know I'm the #1 source of male attention she gets, but it's really messing with my mind every time we flirt, I get reeled in, just to get disappointed. Yesterday was her birthday, her best friend told me she'd think it's cute if I did something. Since I had work that night what I did was get her a dozen roses, her favorite marilyn monroe themed card (written stuff inside of course), and a tiara (I told her she was a princess). Her reaction absolutely destroyed whatever hope I had left. This was supposed to be the big move, you know? I know there's chemistry, and it's easy to talk to her. But I don't know if I can keep dragging my heels waiting for her.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • move on. She told you how she felt. What you did was sweet and one day you will find a girl who adores you and who would think you are the one and only. I'm saying this from a girls view I had a guy who adored me did the sweetest things you can imagine but I just didn't see us together not because he didn't have qualitys I liked I just didn't feel it you know? he kept trying becasue he thought we were perfect for each other. I told him over and over again I appreciate everything but I just don't see it happing. Because it had gone on for so long I felt like I couldn't hurt him. so I just kept saying thank you and repeating that I just don't feel it. I didn't want to lead him on but I didn't want to be with him or ruin the friendship we had built. so time went by and the guy I'm with now came into my life and did pretty similure things and my heart melted he is amazing and as cleche as it is he makes my heart skip. the guy who liked me was devastated becasue we were still friends and he was like I did that exact same thing and you didn't care. the last thing I wanted was for him to get hurt and sadly he did but that's why I tried telling him becasue I didn't want that.. its a few months later and he has finally found someone who does the same thing for him. A girl should appreciate you make you laugh and smile, recipricate feelings ect. You shouldn't have to do all the fighting for a relationship it should just click. You will find someone who it just clicks with ON both sides trust me it does happen and its an amazing feeling I know this was long but I hope it helps you in some way

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What Girls Said 1

  • Yes, you should move on. She literally said she can't see you two as a couple together. That's kinda direct, in your face and should be enough. If I were you, I'd try to shift focus, not on her but on meeting new people and living your life, spending time on yourself. I'd stop making effort for her, no more cute romantic thoughtful gifts, just a card and a text would be fine next birthday. If it's on and off for three years and nothing ever happened, well, even if something happened, what she said made it pretty clear that there's no romantic future for you two. Sorry to say it but I'm afraid the best thing to do is to move on.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Amen brother I would like to hear some women responses to this...

    I as well have gone out of my way to show my woman the same. we did start off slow and got hot and wild with pet names but since has cooled off again. Her saying she doesn't want anything serious. but we have so much chemistry and laughter great communication except about what we are for each other. (long distance as well)

    i feel you have done enough to show her...

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  • It's sucks for any guy that's been there.

    The Big Move is not doing something nice and romantic but coming on to her physically. That doesn't mean something illegal or awkward but naturally seizing the moment during mutual attraction. You've probably missed this opportunity countless number of times.

    The best thing to do is to work on your self-esteem and get out there talking and flirting with other women. This will build up your confidence. If you start dating different women, you can at some point come back to her and let her know how much fun you're having, which could increase her attraction, but that's a long shot.

    Google or look up videos of "PUA". There is a lot of information out there, especially on this topic. Your world view will be forever changed and you will get over this girl.

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  • Just give up already. She's unstable, don't let yourself dragged in.

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