How to handle a situation like this?

basically I'm a introvert. I prefer to be left alone 95% of the time. I don't want people to talk to me and I don't want to hear there gossip.

thats what happens at school I sit in the back row and my classmates seem offended because I don't join there conversations. honestly all they talk about is baby mama's, baby daddy's, ex husbands, boyfriends etc. and they make racist jokes. so I isolated myself from them. I'm in school strictly to LEARN nothing more.

theres obvious tension, and a clique has formed of course I'm not in it and everyone including the teacher talks bad about me,

advice please!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I know how you feel. However, from the perspective of the other people you are not joining in, so you must disapprove of them. Unfortunately, this is how social groups often work. People in the group are 'okay' and outsiders are 'not okay'. The very fact that you make no effort to join them implies that you are somehow against them (in their minds). Even your own description of them implies some disapproval, as you claim their discussions are trivial and racist. So in a way they are correct about your motivation (from their point of view)--if you thought they were great people who were having quality discussions you would probably have made an effort to join the group. The exception is if a person introverted, and he/she prefers to be alone. However, people who are social never understand how shy people feel--they just assume you don't like them...

    There is no excuse for the teacher to talk badly of you, unless you are somehow disrupting the class. But even teachers are people who are affected by social situations. This teacher may feel it is important to be on the good side of this clique--otherwise he might not be able to control the classroom. However, that is still unacceptable behavior...

    These situations are always difficult. It isn't easy to be an outsider. Most people join the clique to avoid being an outsider, even if they don't have much in common with the clique. If you prefer not to 'fit in' then you may be picked on. Unfortunately, it may be past the time when you can join the clique easily--that is best done at the first opportunity. Now you are their target, and have been labelled as 'not okay', so it would be difficult to join them now...

    The only thing I can advise it to hang in there, and try to ignore their bad behavior. You can try to get some school officials involved, but usually that doesn't accomplish much other than to make the clique more hostile. However, if there is any threat of physical violence you should alert someone in authority. You may be able to force your teacher to be more responsible by telling his supervisor about his poor behavior, however that could also have negative repercussions for you (he could give you poor grades). You may still want to report him (or her) after you are no longer in the class...

    Just be aware that many people have gone through this. It isn't pleasant, but it also doesn't last forever. Try not to let it affect you deep down--there are good people in the world, and there are people who are not so good. Try to get by for now, and look for some good people in the next class--or wherever your life takes you. Good luck...


What Girls Said 1

  • Well if that's how you want to be, t hen there's nothing you can do except ignore them. If you choose to be an outcast. being treated like that kind of comes with the territory.


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