Why would your ex bring this up to you? I need help! Honest opinions!

I dated a women for about a year, sort of long distance. (About two hours). We initially hit it off very well, but by the nine month mark, things went downhill very quickly. In the last month or so, she became very distant and almost completely stopped being intimate with me . She said she was growing tired of the distance between us so we discussed moving as a solution. I was ready to move to be closer to her, but then she suddenely gets cold feet. Something inside was telling me there was more to it, considering her behavior toward the end of the relationship. I ultimately ended the relationship.

3 months goes by without either of us speaking to each other and then we run into each other once again. I Say hi and text back and forth for a couple days and then I call her up. She gets on the subject of dating and talks about a guy that she started seeing after I left the picture. He dumps her after 2 months and blah blah blah. I remember her saying that this was her neighbor she went on a few dates with and that he was a creepy guy. Always telling me that he weirded her out every time she saw him. Didn't think much of it then, but by what she's telling me now, it sounds like they went on more than just a couple dates and this guy wasn't so 'creepy' to begin with. Her becoming so upset on the phone was a dead give away! She goes on to say that it was a bad idea getting back with him and that he went back to his old girlfriend that he had two kids with and all the drama involved with it.. Her and I are both single in our 20s with no kids so It surprises me that she would go for someone like that. It disgusts me to be honest! This tells me she hasn't been completely honest with me, knowing now she was with him before and then immediately after me. At the end of our conversation, she then tells me that it was good to see me and here my voice again and that she wanted to talk again soon.

Up until this point, I still had some feelings left for her, but now I don't think so. After hearing this latest news, I was mindblown. I didn't say a whole lot and didn't confront her on this, so I'm left with some unanswered questions. Id like to talk to her a bit more about this, but feel it would be pointless, since I'm no longer with her and whatever she does now is her business. Why would she bring these things up and then want me back in the picture? To make me jealous or make me want her back? Hearing this makes me believe that she's a complete fake and that I was used as the rebound guy the entire time! I really feel like I've been played for almost an entire year without even know it! you're thoughts?


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  • I wouldn't have drawn the conclusion that she used you or that she was being a fake with you. That doesn't really make sense. She didn't have to tell you any of this information and would not have done so if it exposed some scheme of hers. Also, this isn't the sort of story one relates to make another person jealous. It is bound to fail on that score. I assume that she is considering the possibility of a relationship or at least a friendship where she could get support from you. I would agree with your assessment that after all that history and the new information, it doesn't seem like a good idea to get involved with her at any level.

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