Physical connection...will bring mind connection?

So, 4 months ago I left my ex boyfriend as I was not attracted to him physically. Even though he we had a great mind - sense of humour connection and loved him deeply , it felt not right to continue a relationship that was almost platonic. It was a very painful thing to do. One month after that I hooked up with a colleague guy that I did not know really welI. I did not have anything serious in mind, but I could feel a mutual attraction.. I also wanted also to check that I could "work" properly (as sometimes I doubted it during my relationship). Long story short, with this guy the sexual chemistry was really amazing, something I could have never imagined! as a result, he has insisted to continue to see me, ... and I must say that the feelings of closeness/emotion/pleasure when we make love increase with time! He is in love with me and I really like him too, but sometimes I compare him to my ex and I still feel full of sorrow for losing and making suffer such a great mate. In those moments I feel uneasy and think I should break up also with this new guy...with whom at the moment I get on very well, I have a deep physical connection, but not the same fullfilling conversations... What do I do? should I just break up or wait and see? Maybe it is too early to be with somebody else? Do you think this intense physical connection could also lead to a mind connection?


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  • No, the mind-emotional connection is either there or it's not, it won't develop magically with time.

    Maybe it was too early to jum into something just out of your feelings of insecurity from the first relationship.

    So, if you do break up with the second guy...

    I'd at least suggest to the first ex boyfriend that you need more attention physically. THAT sort of activity Can be 'worked on' and developed, with a little encouragement from you.

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    • Thanks for your answer! Yes, you are right, maybe it was too early, but I did not anticipate that the second guy would be so passionate and loving...even if I break up with him for "health" purposes (not healthy to engage in a relation right after one is over) I don't think I would be able to go back to the first one so easily...after all when I was with him I tried for a couple of years to solve our problems and was not able to do it..maybe I should just go to a monastery for a while .lol

    • Maybe he's matured, maybe it took breaking up for him to realize there really was a problem. It's at least worth a second look..!

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