Who is responsible for making the first move in courting the opposite gender?

Answer on your own behalf, please.

And feel free to elaborate on what you believe constitutes a "first move" (it doesn't always start with "Hello").

  • The man should approach.
    Vote A
  • The woman should approach.
    Vote B
  • I refuse to voice my opinion.
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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1311

Most Helpful Guy

  • in an appropriate courtship, it's the guy's job to approach- and the girl's job to show that she wants to be approached. Guys that score are usually just guys that can tell which girls want to be hit on by them

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 13

  • Anyone who wants to. If the guy is interested, he should approach. If the girl is interested, she should approach. Or if one wants to take the relationship to the next step, then they should let that be known to the other person. It doesn't matter if it's the guy or girl. Both are responsible for whatever it is they want regarding getting into a relationship.

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  • Traditionally it's supposedly the guy who "should approach" but in reality not all guys are willing to do that. If a girl is interested in a guy she should just go for it--well, go for him, as it were. That's how you get anything you want. You don't wait quietly, twiddle your thumbs and wish on a star like a fool, you jump him in the bushes! :P Every person is responsible for their own happiness and that applies here as well.

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  • In my personal opinion, the man should approach first. Now, that isn't to say that women can't, it's just that I appreciate it when the man takes the initiative.

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  • I reluctantly voted "C" ... I don't refuse to voice my opinion but I don't believe its just one gender's responsibility. Of course many expect the man to make his move if he's interested but I personally think beating around the bush leads to games which are annoying to me.

    If someone is interested in someone and they have a pretty good feeling that the feelings are mutual, they should just go for it. Ask them to hang out sometime, ask them to dinner, kiss them... whatever.

    There's no point wasting time waiting around and playing "What if" with yourself. Get what you want or if it doesn't work at least you can spend more time moving on to find someone who is right for you and interested.

    I don't know why we put people up on a pedestal because after all we are all just people and we're playing the same game as everyone else.

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  • I guess my poll vote and my answer are going to contradict each other because I voted "I refuse to voice my opinion" but I'm going to do it anyway.

    Sorry, but your poll options were too narrow for me. I'm with the majority of girls who answered- whoever wants to make the first move should do it. I've made the first move before (as in asked a guy out, kissed a guy first etc.) and I've obviously been on the receiving end from guys. It's obviously EASIER if someone else makes the first move, but that's true no matter your gender. I have no specific rules on it.

    I do think though, if I make the first move, a guy has to respond in some significant way, whether it's rejection or interest. I hate the wishy-washy stuff- either you like me back or you don't, let me know either way. I believe women should be this way too- let the person know where they stand.

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  • I have done both in the past but I always seem to scare the guy away when I approached them lol and they were shy guys. maybe cos I am too forward, I'm not sure. Lol.

    I would prefer the guy to approach me first tho. From past experience I realized they were more into you and would make more of an effort. Don't shoot me tho, those were my experiences. Lol

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  • Whoever wants to. If you see someone you find attractive and you might be interested in just go for it.

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  • I don't care but if you want a relationship with me, you're gonna have to make the first move

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  • boys should approach.

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    • Little school boys with their lunch boxes!

    • Show All
    • Sure, but you can still get kind of a better vibe from the guy when you make this small talk. I mean most of you girls are good at picking up these vibes.

    • Gosh people are easily butt hurt on here

  • I suppose whoever's interested first.

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  • I like it when the man approaches first.

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  • Who ever is interested should

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  • if one party has the courage then go for it

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What Guys Said 10

  • Man.

    Women are too cowardly, and lack the drive to make things happen.

    Look at history, and who advanced human civilization.

    Man.

    Man has stuck his neck out for women since the days he'd bring home tiger bacon.

    Shouldn't change.

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  • I don't think this is based on gender. If somebody doesn't make a move when they're interested in someone it's their fault if somebody else does. Taking the initiative is important in all things in life.

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    • sitting in wait expecting things to come to you in life is a poor mentality for anyone regardless of gender IMO.

  • That's an interesting question. It's the 21st century if you like someone just approach them, men to women and women to men. I mean who doesn't like it when someone shows interest in them.

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    • 52% think guus should approach versus only 6% thinking girls should approach... yeah that's no accident.

    • The 6% means very little... if you split the amount of girls who voted A. (21) then half of that number selected C. (11), which suggest that a decent amount don't feel either should be expected to make the first move. I agree that it you are interested in a person you should approach them, regardless of gender, which is why I also voted for C.

  • I would say women should approach the guy if they are interest in him, as I am a shy guy. I would be nervous to approach the girl and ask her out. I also feel that everyone shouldn't play games and just ask or tell the person they like them and want to go out with them.

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  • Whoever wants to. We have to evolve in dating, its the only thing that humans seem to refuse to evolve in.

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  • The guys do it most of the time but I see no reason why a girl shouldn't do it if she really likes a guy.

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  • Neither. It should be up to who ever wants it bad enough.

    For instance, I can't talk to people I don't know for conversational/courting purposes, I don't have anything to say that could be relevant to them or their interests, I feel awkward as all hell when I try and it causes me more stress than getting into a fight.

    So I'm left an evolutionary outcast, because I can't approach women, and women don't approach me because I'm intimidating or Creepy, swear to god, I'm so f**kin tired of hearing the word "Creepy." So my new plan is to make myself more approachable to women and work it like that.

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  • whoever is interested but pretty much almost all girls stubbornly insist it is the guys job

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  • Whoever wants the other one first.

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  • Whoevers interested

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