I don't know how to break up with him? He's too clingy

My boyfriend has gotten too clingy and needy. He's willing to do absolutely anything to try and please me and while that sounds great it's not. I could mention liking a particular hair color and he'd dye his. I could point out what someone's wearing and he'd buy the outfit. I'm starting to get put off I want a boyfriend with his own identity. Every time I'm just a bit distant he'll question me and freak out thinking I'm cheating. I can't take it anymore I need space I just don't know how to end it without breaking his heart or making him suicidal. Please help!
I ended it yesterday it's all good he took it okay but had trouble letting go.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hey there! :o)

    Ok, I was going to say something similar at first to what CrystalMinds said about trying to talk with this guy and explain to him how you feel about what he is doing. If you really like this guy, but his behavior in the way you describe is bothering you, then maybe this is something you can talk to him about and work on.

    However, from reading your comments, I can see that you don't really love this guy and you seem pretty sure that you want to break up with him. If that is truly the case and you are absolutely sure that you want to break up with this guy and there is nothing left that you want to 'work on', then my advice to you is to break up with him as soon as possible!

    How long have you been with this guy? Weeks? Months? A year or more? Unless this is a long term relationship where you have become emotionally close, then I see no harm in breaking up with him via text or other similar message. If you have been together a while and become close, then I would always say give this guy the respect of breaking up with him face-to-face. However, if this is relatively short-term, then unless you specifically want to break up with him face-to-face, then I feel you could simply message him. Do this as soon as possible, today if necessary, and just get it out of the way now that you know for sure what you want to do! Please don't string him along, or play stupid games that may or may not work... Just break up with him the right and decent way and apart from maybe some guilt, you'll feel a whole lot better later!

    As for what to say, keep it short and sweet, but explain your reasons. Something like 'Hi NAME. I'm really sorry, but I just don't think this is working out for me. You're a real nice guy and I really appreciate all the effort you've put in for me, but I just don't feel the chemistry is right between us and you deserve someone who is able to reciprocate your efforts. I'm really sorry, but I think this is for the best and I know you can find someone more suitable. I'm sorry if I've upset you, but I really hope we can still be friends. YOUR NAME'. Something like that anyway.

    If your decision is made and there's no way that you are going to change your mind, then either text or say something like that to him and get it over with, for the sake of both of you! It may be hard and no doubt you will have to deal with his questions, but just be nice and stick to you reasons (without being overly critical) and just make it clear that's the chemistry and relationship is not right for you!

    I hope that helps you and please feel free to ask me any further questions... :o)

    • As per your update... I'm glad that you were able to resolve this situation and I hope you feel much better for it now! :o)

Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Easy.

    Tell him your are not the girl for him. Its that simple. Tell him he's an amazing guy and he will find someone else, who will love him for who he is, and what he does. That's all. Tell him you don't hate him, you don't wish bad upon him, you just wanna be single and grow. Cause that's what you wanna do.

    Your young anyways. You shouldn't have a boyfriend at your age.

  • Haha, you're funny. "How do I break someone's heart without breaing their heart?" Heh.

    It's doable.

    You need to fool this man into leaving you of his own will. The next time he goes on one of his tirades about your cheating heart and lack of love for him welcome it; let him burn his own bridges and with a little manipulation you can make it seem like your the problem and then you win your peace and quiet AND he doesn't want to talk to you ever again. Never ever.

    Then I'll see your Boyfriend on this website soon enough.

    • Should I act more distant then? Ignore him? He tries so hard I feel awful but it's too much he's smothering me :(

    • Show All
    • Hahaha I've done that before. I said I liked shaved pubes and he shaved his like 5 minutes later and I acted all happy cause I was and he was just like glowing. He could hate chocolate ice cream but if I ate it he'd love it. Should I just tell him it's not working out anymore? I can't stand it I want out of this relationship now I feel like I'm suffocating.

    • No, you've only done part of it. You see, he runs and does it, you act happy. That's one thing. You harp on it for days and days letting him know that he did it for you? That's another. Esp. with things he hates; you just treat him like a child long enough and he'll cave. It takes about a week of the behavior, not a few minutes, but you can tell him that. The only thing is if you do he'll just adjust to meet your needs, which won't meet your needs, therefore being self-defeating.

What Girls Said 2

  • Have you tried to talk to him about it? If you love him, I suggest you try this first. Maybe he can try and change his behavior a bit?

    When/if you're sure you want to break up with him, I suggest you just tell him as it is and do this face to face. I know some people don't like this, but breaking up through a text or a phone call or even an e-mail is too rude. Invite him to some place where you want to meet, tell him how he makes you feel and how it annoys you how he's always pleasing you and all that. Maybe you can try to give him a second chance then.

    • I don't love him. I feel suffocated and smothered around him. He's change his entire personality if I asked him and I hate it. I don't think telling him to be his own person would work though. I'm sure. I just don't know what to say

    • Hm, it would sound "good" if you told him how he changed his personality and doesn't have his own opinion anymore, you feel suffocated and he's too clingy and you don't think the relationship will work out anymore and it's best if you two go your own way.

    • just end it, tell him the truth,u are not responsible for what he does afterwards,but you need to tell him why so he doesn't wonder.can't prevent a heartbreak that's life.

  • Please talk to him first..


Recommended myTakes