Do I want him or the relationship?

So my first love and I broke up in August and he has a new girlfriend. I am still single, but have been talking to a few guys. Recently I've been feeling like I miss him and I don't know why. We didn't have a bad break-up, it was just overdue, and we both decided to go back to being friends.

But, after a month of heys and friendly comments we stopped talking altogether. Part of me thinks that I miss our friendship, since we haven't talked in two months. But another part of thinks that I'm actually missing him, in a boyfriend-girlfriend sort of way. Even though we don't talk we see each other at school a lot, since our lockers are about two feet away from each other. We glance at each other and then quickly look away and go about our business, and that's basically it as far as contact is concerned.

anyway, for the past week or so I've been feeling sort of off, and I think it has something to do with my sister and her new relationship. I'm not exactly jealous of her, but her boyfriend reminds me a lot of my ex and how we used to be. I'm wondering if I'm missing him, or if I just want to have a relationship where I feel the way he used to make me feel.


Most Helpful Guy

  • impressive question/explanation.

    i'm gonna push you toward other guys, because you're so young, but I don't know the answer for real, whether you're craving him or 'the relationship'. there's a heck of a lot of people in this world - take your chances with moving on, I'd say. you can always reach back, unlikely he'll get married young if he really was the one for you.

    also if you're gonna be smart don't be such a young age, it's sort of attractive! =)



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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • You're missing the relationship. He was your first love. Emphasis on "first". There will be others. More than anything, you'll miss the attention and the way you felt special in the relationship, much more than you'll miss the partner specifically.


What Girls Said 1

  • Remind yourself why you broke up. Remember you're only 16 you have the rest of your life for relationships. Have fun, enjoy yourself, build friendships and gain qualifications.

    • i know that to an older person I might sound like the dumb young girl hung up on a relationship. but I'm very blunt and realistic. I've been telling myself that I'm young and there'll be other guys, but the feelings are still there. any more advice mould be appreciated.

      (On a side note, we broke up becuase he didn't want me anymore. and we barely talked after we had sex for the first time (we were both virgins) which was two months before we broke up)

    • No I do understand because I met my partner young but I never said the feelings would just go. He broke up with you so obviously you will be more affected he made this decision and probably put a lot of thought into it. You only found out when he decided it. I stick by my previous advice you need to surround yourself with friends, work and accept that if it was supposed work out it would have. I know it's hard but it's you're only choice.

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