A guy I was casually seeing for 1.5month would constantly refer to his ex-girlfriend. How she was horrible, cheated on him with a bikie, etc. At this time (in the begining), he would also gush about how pretty I was, how he couldn't believe it when he first met me, and all of these other lovely compliments.
Then, he opened up more - and he would talk about how she was a model - and so was his other ex. And he would make remarks like 'but it's not about that, it's about what you have to offer...' and it honestly felt cruel, like he was trying to make me feel unworthy. He even smiled when I looked upset by his constant references and said 'well, are you attracted to me or not? Stop going on about it :/' to which he said 'of course I am! You're confusing my words. That has nothing to do with you! You're a good-looking girl! come here, aww, let me cuddle you...'. It just felt manipulative and condescending.
This one night he referred to me as his girlfriend - so when I asked what we were later that night, he got all defensive saying he didn't want a relationship right now...but wanted to keep 'hanging out'.
Was he trying to manipulate me?
Most Helpful Girl
girl. get away now. if I wrote that and you read it what would you think. yes its cruel. yes its pathetic. yes its immature. yes its manipulating you. do you really want to be with a person that is ALREADY making you feel like this. ALREADY making you question your worth. ALREADY making you unhappy. *yes maybe he makes you happy sometimes" but at the start it really should NOT be like this. If you stay you are just going to get emotionally attatched and become blinded and conditioned to put up with his beahviour. do not trap yourself.
he is clearly not over his ex girlfriend. in my opinion he is using you to get over his ex. I'm not saying you are not beautiful or wonderful. but I feel that is exactly why he is using u. you are giving him the ego boost he needs, being their for him, stroking his ego, giving him attention. he basically is having his cake and eating it too. he gets the benefits of being in a relo with you without the committment. he knows that as soon as you walk away all he needs to do is lay on the charm and you will come back. he has you under his thumb and he knows it. don't let this person use u. please.2