I would like some suggestions or insight.

I can't get this girl out of my mind. One minute, things were going great. The next minute we are done. I've tried not talking to her (did have a brief convo yesterday over her favorite baseball team and a trade), but one day she was inviting me on a trip, and the next day we were having a good time at her place, and things seemed to change suddenly. After not hearing from her for a week, I finally got her to tell me that she decided she doesn't want to date and just wants to be alone. I can respect this, but I feel it is coming from a place of fear. Fear over being hurt again because she is wanting to move soon for better jobs (still has to get one, but wants to move up in her field, which means moving) and her and her last boyfriend broke up after he moved. That being said, I feel like she's just ending things now instead of giving us a chance, and I know we'd be great. We were great, until all of a sudden we weren't. I think she started over thinking an engagement party she went to, and I'm not sure what is going on. I know she hangs out with a couple of other guys, but I know they are just coworkers and friends. I have barely spoken to her, but yesterday she responded immediately, despite being at work. I only texted because it is something I would do with any friend. I am giving her space, but I don't want to just completely disappear from the picture. My sister and I both feel that once she works through whatever she's dealing with then she'll probably get in touch with me. I want to make sure that I don't completely disappear and ruin that chance of her reaching out. Like I said, things were great one day, and then not the next. I think things may have gone a little fast, and I think she just decided she didn't want to get into anything. I didn't do anything I wouldn't have done anyways. She wanted to date to take things slow. We went out one day, then met up again three days later, of which she let me know she was very excited. Then, since she was going out of town I said if she'd like we could meet up again. She quickly replied with Friday, which was two days later. We talked quite a bit Thursday since I didn't have much going on, and she even suggested we go on a trip sometime to a city about 3 hours away. I agreed. Friday, things were going great. Then, all of a sudden, I felt like I was getting kicked out and that's when things started to turn. Any suggestions or thoughts about what is going on and how to handle it?


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What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like she's interested in you, just give her time. She is doing you and her a service by working through it all now rather than later.

    • I'm sure she likes me, but she said she wants to be alone. I'm wondering if she's just going to keep from seeing me until she moves. Before we started she told me she planned on moving within a year. t I don't think she can go from liking me and telling her friends about me, to not so quickly. So that's why I'm wondering. She is hanging out with other guys, and I'm not sure if she's dating, but I doubt it if she wants to leave. I'm afraid if I just disappear, then she'll move completely on.

    • Show All
    • Will do. It was her choice to stop seeing each other. She claims to just want to be alone, which may be true. I know she likes me. Unless you know differently than I, you can't fake that and it doesn't just disappear. She wouldn't switch to another guy so quickly with those feelings. So, assuming this is true, I have to help her get over whatever sent her running. I'm asking for your input. How do I do that? And do you think it could be another guy? Even if it is just because it'll be easier?

    • And do you think texting her yesterday, even if just for a very short convo about her team, was a mistake?

What Guys Said 1

  • She has to work out some issues, so give her space to do so. Leave her alone and move on to women who have the time and/or just have some fun. There is nothing worse than realizing you are wasting your time. You two aren't intimate or anything right? So, there is nothing much to lose.


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