Am I being mean to him? A bad reason to break up? Please help.

i wanted to break up with this guy I was dating. because I wasn't happy with the little time we spent together the last few weeks. we used to see ea. other once a week. this is third week I am not seeing him due to many issues he is having...we only live 10 min. from ea. other.

but his day is filled up till 10pm ea. day...he told me he can see me one of the weekdays to take a day off school...

he has had some problems last few weekends...i can't see him on Sundays because I have family obligation...

he then told me he is not in a happy part of his life. he doesn't like his job, his evening class. he has no time and things are not going well for him. his evening class ends in feb.

i just don't want to become attached to him if he is just going to lead me on.

i gave him a hug. and he looked into my eyes and he kissed me. a real long kiss with tongue.

i don't know what to think of this...he told me he wants to be with me and we are together...should I be more patient? more understanding and more sensitive?...i am confused...

my therapist said I see things too black and white...since relationships sometimes required patience...


Most Helpful Guy

  • Being unhappy in a relationship and not expecting that to change is a good reason to end it. Feeling guilty about ending it is not a good reason to stay in a relationship you don't like. That's not to say that I'd suggest you drop him. Consider whether this is a temporary thing problem or is there no end in sight? Do you feel like you need a lot more time and attention than he can give or can you look past that to be happy with the little you do get? Is he special enough to be worth waiting for if and when he does have time to spare? If things seem like they will get worse rather than better then it will need to end eventually and it will be that much harder for waiting so long.

    • i put some pieces of the puzzles together since we met. he has always been busy on weekends. he did take 2/3 weekends to hang out with me. other then that, he has lied to me with where he's about. it didn't' bother me in the beginning. but things just seem way to sucipsious towards the last 2/3 weekends. so I finally went to his place to do a little investigation.

      he was here when he told me he wasn't.

      at this point, I am not interested in games or being a back burner. so I confronted him.

    • Seems your investigative work saved yourself a lot of trouble in the long run. Better to know know than later.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Seeing things in black and white isn't bad though, if you aren't fully happy then do what makes you happy, don't feel obliged to go back into a relationship if you personally aren't any happier about doing so. As for being lead on, that can happen no matter how careful you are.

    • u don't think this is selfish and mean of me?...he is always so tired already and would take an evening to see me...urrrrggg...

    • No it's not selfish at all, even if it was... it'd be selfish of him to expect you to keep in contact with him. The sooner you start to move on the better you'll feel. I've been hung up for long periods of time in the past, and it got me no where. It's a lot easier and hassle free to just look out for yourself and do what's best for you.

What Girls Said 1

  • NO just dump him he's using you for sure. OMG.

    • he's using me? how do you mean?

    • Show All
    • no lol...i m planning to break up because he is too busy? but you think I m mean ?

    • Nooooooo. I'm sure you're nice, but he sound like he's wasting your time, hate guys like that. ugh!

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