Advice on dating a really inexperienced guy?

I've been dating this great guy for about a month now. He is really sweet and we get along great. The only thing is he is really inexperienced with girls--I'm pretty sure he's never had a girlfriend before and I also think he is probably a virgin (which is totally fine). He never seems to make the first move on me, so I try to put out blatant signals out there to make sure he knows he won't be rejected if he makes a move and I also initiate most everything. We haven't made much progress past making out and it almost seems like he's too afraid to move past it. I know he most likely won't make a move, so I've been a little bolder and have tried help move things along with us, but I just think it's going to take a little time. I know everyone goes at their own pace, but it feels like he is afraid of me and uncomfortable--starting to feel like he isn't into me because I have literally taken off my shirt and he did nothing and kind of shied away from me. I don't want to rush him at all, but I fear that if we don't make progress or if he doesn't gain confidence than I will get bored or frustrated and move on. A girl likes to be swept of her feet a little and not initiate everything all the time, ya know? Any advice on how to date inexperienced men?


Most Helpful Guy

  • :Warning Descriptive:

    In the past I've been given 'blatant signals' and they'd go right over my head from my nerves or apprehension from the things ingrained into me from child birth. I was raised to be reserved, pure, not out-of-line, abstinent but not religiously. I literally feared expressing sexuality. It was hard, really hard for me to break through the feeling that what I was doing was wrong. He probably gets this feeling. It took reassuring, someone saying the words that it's okay to act the way he's never felt. I know it kills the romance mindset having to sit down and talk/explain things but it clears the air for both of you; rather than hinting and never going forward.

    I'd want to have sex, I wanted to be passionate, but I was just... held back by myself. It was who I was, not every guy is the same, nor every girl. In fact I'm going through this with a girl in a similar way, and it's difficult looking at it from the perspective of having some experience.

    It may seem difficult to you, wrong, or negative that he can't push to where you want. But he's just that way. If he's with you and you're with him and you and him care about each other; nothing should be allowed to ruin that.

    Forgoing the sit-down approach. You could have each other together(like how you took off your shirt) and ask for his hand and press it over your bare body. To literally show him it's okay, like "see? it's okay." Think of it like teaching someone to dance, you show where the feet and hands go. He's new, doesn't know what to do, what to think, there's nothing wrong with that.

    This is all from what you've told us, he might not be exactly like this, but it's good to have the perspective. Good luck to the both of you.


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What Guys Said 3

  • just go easy on him

    and give him pointers

    like just tell him what you like

  • You might try talking to him, and saying that you want to take your relationship farther. Be very clear if you mean sex, so he doesn't misinterpret. He isn't likely to notice your signals, or he will ignore them out of fear of either being wrong, or not knowing what to do about it. A lot of guys that remain virgins this long are virgins because they have received terrible advice about women. If he is a virgin, he may not even know what to do with at woman so it could be his fear of embarrassing himself in bed that is holding him back.

    You could try undressing him next time. Or start off slower with just oral sex. You may need to teach him everything about sex. So be prepared to educate him on what you want and need.

  • i assume you are more experienced than him? as much as I would wish more girls did the approaching, made the first move and asking out, at the same time I feel if a girl does that initiating like I said in the beginning, I feel the guy should reciprocate his interest back to you


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