Girlfriend wants to move back home. I don't know what to do.

Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year and have lived together for about 10 months. We moved from Montana to Texas to get to a bigger area and to get out of Montana. Well she misses her friends and wants to move back home. She just turned 21 and I just turned 25. The only way we could move back to Eastern Montana would be if we lived with her mom and dad. We wouldn't be able to get our own place because there is a housing shortage there because of the oil boom. If I lived with her parents that would probably lead to me breaking up with her. That is the last thing I want to happen. Not to mention I can not afford to move us across the country again. I try to make her happy and I love her but she is just not happy down here. If she had some friends it would be different I think but she doesn't do anything where she meets people. Our lease is up in April and I think she is probably either going to give me an ultimatum or resent me for not moving back home with her parents. Either of those. If I moved back to Montana with her I think we will and up breaking up. If I don't and she goes we will end up breaking up. If she stays she is going to resent me and we will end up breaking up. I don't know what to do. I love her and she is the girl I want to marry but I don't to be married to somebody that I can't make happy and cares more about being at home with her parents and friends than being with me. It makes me sad every time she says she hates work or hates it down here because I feel like it is my fault.


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  • Bud, I suggest you approach her before she gets a chance to approach you with an ultimatum. Explain to her everything you're saying; moving with her parents, can't afford it, etc. Leave out the breaking up part, she doesn't need that seed in her mind. Also, talk to her about giving Texas a chance. Set a date somewhere within the next several months. Tell her to stick it out in Texas, giving it a chance, meeting new people and if it doesn't work out by whatever date you guys decide then you'll look into moving back to Montana.

    She's obviously homesick, it's normal. I still get home sick myself. Has she set up a Skype to stay in contact with her friends? It's plenty of ways to stay in contact long distance. I feel as if she sees you making progress and thinking about her feelings by coming to her first with a plan that she couldn't possibly resent you in anyway, if she truly loves you. If it comes down to it, you should think about saving some extra money incase you both decide to move back to Montana. You never know. Hope everything goes well, homie. Good luck.


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