3-weeks ex wants to give me back my stuff

we've been together 4 months, it looked like a 'serious' normal relationship. 3 weeks ago tho, because of me asking for more communication and due to a few disagreements, he suddenly tells me he's 'confused' and doesn't know if he wants to be with me any longer, nor if he actually loves me. also insinuates it might have been 'just sex' all the way long. me astonished, he asks for 'some time' to think things through, w the help of his therapist. I decide to end it ASAP, here and now. we go NC, and he's suddenly back on dating sites.

one week later, he also writes me an email to 'let me know' that yeah, his feelings were right, his therapist was right, it was 'co-dependancy', hence not 'real love'. I go WTF and NC, of course.

couple of days ago, he writes me again another email to wish me good luck for a somewhat important event I had to attend to, and that he knew/remembered about, and adds he deleted all his accounts from those dating sites, specifing that although he felt 'insecure' and girls 'threw themselves at him' online, giving away their phone numbers so easily (?), he decided to follow his therapist's advice, and he's now 'sitting at home alone'. he also actually typed this very sentence: 'you see I wanted to tell you I'm not a jerk, I wasn't lying to you'. in the end, he asks me if I want my stuff (literally, a pair of socks and a bottle of shampoo) back.

personally I think his only concern is keeping his conscience clean and feel good with himself. but why bragging about all those girls flying over to him? what's the fucking point?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He's trying to make you feel jealous and in the hope that although he's been an down and out Jerk, you might still have something there for him, so tell him to stick the shampoo up his so called attractive A$$ and that he can use your socks for a warmer if he likes. Because this guy is so far from ready let alone worthy of you, he's done you a favour by being a jerk, at least now you have room for real men,x

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think he's being honest enough, that he's going to therapy (or has been going) and is coming clean about the dating site stuff. But if he is confused, then I'd say give him some space. Maybe he'll sort out his feelings in a while, maybe he won't. Cool off for now and see what he wants and see if that matches up with what you want. As for your last question, the girls throwing themselves at him, it's probably to say that he was faithful or he likes you enough to have ignored all that? Or maybe just a moment of bad judgement. EIther way give him some space and see if he can get his act together. If not, then at least he was honest with you and didn't just go MIA.

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  • I think it was nice of him to be so honest. He could've just stopped talking to you and then you would've bat shit crazy like all women do. Texting, calling and going to his house.

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    • mmm no, I've never done that kind of things in my entire life, and I'm over 30. by the way, the co-dependancy was diagnosed by his therapist on his side, nothing to do with my behaviour.

    • He was an honest man about his feelings. I'd be hurt and disappointed and surprised at the insightfulness. Be happy he was honest and move on.

    • this 'honesty' now feels a bit convenient.. after 4 months of seeing and talking to each other regularly, doing stuff together, helping each other out, you wouldn't expect to hear that 'maybe it was just sex'. seems like an hypocrite way out, to play earnest when in fact he's been calculating.. OK I'm obviously hurt and pissed off enough already, but adding the 'lots of girls' (he talked to AFTER the break up) bit is just plain insulting, there was no need for that.

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