Is my girlfriend holding me back?

So I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 2 years now. we were living together for a while, but just cause of circumstances, we arn't, and long story short, nether of us can live together unless we get our own place. currently, I'm in the process of finding work, so I can save up and get a place for us, but I have no job experience or schooling to land something with a secure, steady paycheck. so, I suggested I could go to school and get a degree, but she doesn't want to wait that long. so I figured I could enlist in the navy because there's financial security in it, and we would be able to be together a lot sooner, but she sais she wouldn't want to have to stay up all night worrying about me ( which is reasonable, I ant tryin to put her in a place/situation she's not comfortable in) I love her to death, and vice-versa, but she seems dead set on wanting me to get a job like at subway or mcd's. the last thing I would ever want is our relationship to end, but I can't put my ambitions on hold forever

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  • You're young. I'm in the military myself, and I have my bachelors working on my masters. I feel like her excuse about being worried is half way selfish of her. of course, people will worry about your safety. But come on, you will be in Chicago for your basic training. you won't be going anywhere just yet. Your career is important. Do not settle for a job that pays minimum wage without secure benefits. The fact that she doesn't want to wait is a clear sign that she might not wait while you go off to make a better future for yourself and her. She is not worth it (no matter how much you love her) if she doesn't want you to be successful. I believe she is only thinking about herself and what she WANTS right not. She wants money, and she is trying to get you to give her money now. If she loves you, I mean truly loves you, then the fact that you have dreams and want to set out to achieve them should make her happy and supportive. Your instincts are right. She is currently holding you back. As soon as you are shipped to basic, the faster you will be paid lumps sums of cash that you would never make in 2 months while working at McDonald's and subway. if its meant to be with her, it will be. She might cheat while you're gone, so keep that in mind before you say she is the one. Majority of the time, military personnel actually end up finding their true loves in the military as well. I can't believe she wants you to work at subway rather than join the navy, smh. She might be gold digger homie. It will hurt like hell to break her off, but I promise you the quicker you set out to basic, the faster you will get over her and her selfishness.

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What Girls Said 1

  • You sound like a reasonable guy... I can't really say much because your question is a bit difficult :/... I don't think that you should go to the extreme of the military but I will certainly say that it is a very good idea to go back to school because let's face it, you can't make anyone your entire life and if you guys break up or something happens between you, at least you'll have a career that's good pay and stable! Plus if you stay together it's also good cause you can support her and a family.

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