So a little bit of history, I was once engaged and my ex fiancé cheated on me. That was 3 years ago. Now, I've been seeing a great new girl and I constantly fear that she'll cheat on me or that she'll do something with another guy that she should really only do with me (sexually). We are sexual with one another, so we've had all of our relationship firsts.
I just get really nervous when she goes to bars and stuff, when she drinks when she goes out, etc. she doesn't do it often, maybe like once a month. She's also friends with an ex, but he lives 3 hours away and they never see each other.
I'm suppressing these feelings because I refuse to be controlling. Whenever she tells me what she's doing I just put on a fake smile and tell her to have fun.
What can I do? How can I just be carefree?
Most Helpful Girl
I have the same issue. But, I have learned to be open with my boyfriend about it. I have told him about my past and explained to him why I am the way I am and he seems to be understanding about it and works with me. If she loves you, she will stop doing those things in order to make you comfortable. Or at least try to meet you half way on it. You are not being controlling either. It is normal to be uncomfortable about your girlfriend talking to her ex. Why wouldn't you be uncomfortable? I wonder how she would feel if you were friends with your ex? and..how would she feel if you went out to strip clubs with the boys? Yes----a strip club and a dance club is the same in my book because girls go to clubs dressing sexy and don't think guys don't dance with them or try to. When I used to go, guys would dance with me even when I told them no. I would literally have to walk off the dance floor for it to stop. So, I don't go to clubs now because I have a boyfriend whom I love and want to be comfortable. If I ever were to go to a club, I would invite him. But, I don't even care to go to them, so that won't happen.
Just talk to her about it :) How long have you been with her? If it has been less than 6 months, then maybe wait a little bit.0