Would you trust a girlfriend / boyfriend who is still friends with an ex?

Let's say your girlfriend of 2 months dated a guy for a year. She admits to you that she's still friends with her ex. He still lives in her hometown. I don't know how often they hang out when she goes to her hometown, but would you trust her? They're 3 hours apart so it's not like they hang out often.

He also has a girlfriend now. I've never met him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You could trust her, yes. Only if she gives you a reason to think otherwise then you should be worried or watchful. Think of it this way... If you were with someone and you both decided it wasn't working out, that you were better as just friends, would you stop speaking to them just because you got a new girlfriend? As long as the person does not overstep the boundaries of friendship (try to push themselves on you or something) there would be no reason to stop talking to them. You need to focus more on your confidence. Be confident that she is with you and you know you are good to her so there is no reason for her to be unfaithful. At the same time if you ever begin to feel suspicious that something is going on, tell her that you expect her to be honest with you if she ever does want someone else. Believe me, it's better if she tells the truth and it hurts and you can move on, than for you to keep thinking there's something going on and hurting all the while. I hope this helps :)

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    • her talking to an ex is reason to think otherwise...just saying

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 12

  • Sure, I don't mind. My boyfriend is still good friends with his ex-FWB. He texts her a lot and they hang out with each other when I'm not there. So what? They're friends; they're allowed to act like friends. :) Point is, I trust him completely.

    You'll have to trust that even if she has opportunities to betray you, she won't.

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  • Yes. I am friends with most of my exes, so I couldn't really just assume anything would happen, because I know it doesn't with me.

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  • I think if you have trust issues with her it is time to rethink your relationship with her.

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  • i would feel concerned for sure unless he is open and honest about it. the moment he tries to hide things, it would arouse my suspicion. but if the other party has a partner I wouldn't be too worried

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  • Well as long as she is upfront about it. I think its ok.

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  • Yes unless there has ever been a reason I shouldn't

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  • Not entirely unless they are completely honest.

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  • Nope I would not! After I found out that my ex has been secretly in touch with his exes throughout the relationship we had. Even though he got caught, I was stupid enough to forgive him but at the end I was glad we ended it!

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  • I'm sure the vast majority of people who are friends with their exes are not intending on cheating on the people they're currently dating with them. In my situation, though, I would completely back off of someone who was buddy-buddy with their ex... It's just that I've been screwed over 2 or 3 times because of annoying ex-girlfriends of 3-5 years, being the new girl in the guy's life. It never ended well for me personally.

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  • My boyfriend is friends with all of his exes, and he has them all on fb, etc. But they all have bfs too.

    I don't really care but if he were to actually hang out with them and stuff I would not be okay with that.

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  • i would be wary.

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  • No.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Yes I will trust her absolutely. If I couldn't then she won't be my girl :)

    Being an ex doesn't mean that relationships need be necessarily bad.

    Nothing sexist or gender based about this. The idea is live and let live.

    If I can't take something I'd rather separate out - better that way than living together and make each others' life miserable.

    How can I love someone or be in a relationship if I don't respect their freedom and privacy

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  • Yes if she doesn't give me reason not to trust her then why would I hold her past against her? I wouldn't want her to do that to me. I think it's very mature and responsible for people who were in a relationship to be big enough to be friends and maintain contact unless something really horrible happened between them.

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  • if they don't have children together then there is no reason they speak. so fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck noooooooooooooooooooooo. that's for pussy men with no balls

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    • That's exactly right! If they don't have kids then why do they still need to be in contact?

    • if they have no kids... they are not together... no need to talk as friends... we all got plenty of those w/out the exs... I would not be okay with that... been burned with it before... bunch of bs...

  • Nope. I wouldn't even put myself in that position. Let someone else deal with that crap. Been there, done it & won't do it again.

    It doesn't matter how often they hang out, it only takes once for her to cheat on you with him. If she ever hangs with him, talks about him or even has a picture of him on shitbook. Good chances she's still thinking of him so get rid of her.

    Go find a girl with no baggage, it's NOT worth the headache. It's got nothing to do with trust issues, she's already showing a lack of respect for you or your feelings. They are an EX!

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  • My personal policy is I do not get involved with anyone that is still friends with an ex, period. I have been burned by this before. An ex does not equal a friend it just causes problems in future relationships and in 99.9% of breakups one person is doing the breaking up and the other person didn't want to breakup. At that rate someone still has feelings for the other one. Exes are never healthy for any relationship ask or listen to any relationship expert.

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