Ok, so, this girl and I have been best friends for 7 years now. It turns out that we've been absolutely crazy about each other the whole time. She was getting out of a relationship, has a daughter to this guy now, and still couldn't stop thinking about me. Things got pretty serious pretty quick, and I think she got scared. She lives on the other side of the country now and has for a few years, but she tells me she wants to move back. I haven't been myself lately for a lot of reasons, and I'm working on those, it's tough being this far away. I just got back from visiting her, and this is the 3rd time we've visited each other in the past 6 months but something was very off, and I didn't act myself. As soon as I got back she said she needed space, wanted to put things on hold, but still tells me she loves me, and that she still ultimately wants to be together, but she needs time alone to focus on her daughter and her life. I'm afraid that this means I may be just a fall back guy and she's trying to work things out with her baby's dad, but the feelings seem to still be there, and I haven't been contacting her as to respect her wishes of space. Although she still texts me, and I wait awhile to respond as to not make myself too available. She told me I was being clingy, and that she can't take care of two people right now, especially with this distance we currently have between us. How long should I wait before I have a serious conversation about this with her, how long do I have to just be the "friend" again? We've both been there for each other through really really bad times in our lives, and really really good times. I can't admit to her that this is tearing me apart, or tell her how I really feel about the situation because it will just drive her farther away. What should I do?
I've never used one of these before, but I need help in a bad way.
What Girls Said 3
the 3rd time we've visited each other in the past 6 months but something was very off, and I didn't act myself.
This was probably because you may have felt a shift with her and you were reacting to it..I say that because she wanted space right after that. I would say cut your losses, she is telling you loud and clear she doesn't want this relationship right now, the other things she says is to soften the blow.0
she doesn't want you, move on0
What Guys Said 2
she is messing with your head, move on and forget about her.0
I was in a similar situation, and still am. It's always tricky when it comes to kids, the father (in a lot of situations) is going to be there for the rest of your lives. So if you got married to this girl, he's still gonna be around. Also, I feel like when someone becomes a parent, and they are a good parent, they put their kids first. She even said she was wanted to focus on her daughter...basically what I'm saying is that it's not uncommon for someone to be married/remain with someone they don't "love" for the sake of their child growing up with that figure in their life. She may love you more than "him".. but the fact is the baby she is taking care of everyday doesn't have her dad..and maybe that's what she's thinking about. It sucks, I know bro. Try as best as you can to not message her and think about her. If things are right, she will contact you. Hopefully you were good with her daughter0
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