How do you trust someone better?

Ive had my trust betrayed multiple times in the past by friends and my ex girlfriend. I want to be able to trust my new girlfriend but these past events have made me a lot more cautious, so how do I trust her better? I don't think its fair to block her out a bit cause of other peoples mistakes


Most Helpful Girl

  • What I have learned so far in my short life span.

    Things are not fair.

    We strive for this dream that we will be above the rest.

    We do at times whatever it takes to get there even if it means hurting others in the process.

    And by doing that we are only hurting ourselves.

    I have put my own selfish desires of what I wanted out of people for a couple of years now.

    I have lost many people by doing this.

    I would push people away,I have stopped trusting people,I have felt rejected many times and would seek revenge for self satisfaction.

    It does nothing in the end it truly doesn't.

    Moving forward now, I am glad that I have learned so young how my ways are not the right way to go about situations.

    I will not sit here though and be told I do not deserve anything because everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and love.

    But if they end up hurting you in the end all you can do is walk away from them and not look back.

    I know this NOW.

    Do not ever settle for less and let anyone keep filling your mind with false statements and promises they do not intend to keep.

    Because you for a fact know if it sounds to good to be true to try to make you feel like your suprior at that moment then in my cases have learned its probably just to be hooked on their words not their actions.

    But don't ever stop yourself from trying to get involved with people because there are good people in this world.They are the more rarer ones and most precious to keep in your life.

    If you feel that something feels wrong inside to do then your brain is shouting trying WARN you.

    These feelings inside are not there to keep you from living life but to make sure you live in life with peace of mind.

    What I'm speaking of today is you controlling how you interact with certain people in your life.

    If they seem to be those people who jump in and out your life I would consider them someone who is not a important aspect of your well being.

    Because someone who truly cares for you will be around daily and encourage you,push you,not bash you,keep you strong when you feel low as can be,not threaten you,and not tell you you don't deserve their love.

    If you hurt that person then its their choice if they want you around but it doesn't mean you don't deserve them you just hurt them.

    And yes sometimes people think they can hurt you and you can not hurt them if you ever screw up because the moment you do they will leave you.

    Well GUESS WHAT they ain't worth your life then.

    Don't let a person like this back in your time or space they will do nothing but hurt you over and over again,believe me I have learned.

    I forgave everyone that has hurt me now but I do not want them back in my life and yes I am better off because I don't have to deal with their double standard bullshit any longer.

    Your are kind,strong,and loyal that's what makes you a person nobody could ever replace.


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • You get over it. Not I'm kidding. Sort of. See really all you can do is ale a conscious decision to trust that person and stick to it. Override your suspicions and such. Good luck

  • i would look out for similiar traits of others who have hurt me before. and only through frequent interactions then we can know the person well enough to trust

  • I understand where you're coming from.

    Nearly every single person I've even slightly trusted has betrayed that trust so I now find it very difficult to tell people even little things about myself, for fear they'll use it against me or use the information to know how to hurt me.

    I was making some progress, but recently have dealt with many more betrayals. All of that progress went out the door and I'm such a closed book now that people are actually getting frustrated sometimes when talking to me.

    It's just something we have to work on. We have to remember that our new friends (or whatever) shouldn't have to pay the consequences for what our ex-friends (or ex-whatevers) did. We have to remember that there are people out there feeling the same way we do.

    Trust is a gamble though, no doubt.


What Guys Said 1

  • Just give it time. Your trust will grow with her over time. You have to remember you cannot hold someone else responsible for another persons actions and it isn't fair to treat some else differently just because another person did you wrong. Trust me it took me a long time to follow my own advice as well.


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