He never wanted me, then he married me? wtf

Ok so I have been seeing the same guy since I was about 17 and I am now 29 we dated for about 10 years and we got married two years ago. the thing is there is something I just don't understand and I never could get over . I know it is in the past but it still bothers me to this day . here is what happen first of all he is 10 years older then me so when I was 17 he was 27 and when I met him he had just broke up with the love of his life two months before he met me . so basically when I met him I was his rebound chick . I fell so hard inlove with him I thought he was mister perfect and he could do no wrong . then I found out he started seeing his ex behind my back and tried to get back with her . I even caught him outside hugging and kissing her one night when I stayed the night with him . stupid me I was a young teen inlove and I should have just left but I didn't I begged him to be with me . then we had a long distance relationship for about 9 years I lived 5 hours away and he would come see me and stay a few weeks at a time . during that time I begged him to come live with me and he never would I really thought he wasn't cheating on me again but I was wrong . so this went on for some time . then two years ago he came down here and said he loved me and wanted to marry me and we did . he has lived down here every since . he got a good job and is a great husband I no for sure he is not cheating now but I also no for sure that right before he moved down here with me he did cheat with a girl he met online . . we have a good relationship now even after all the crap that happen . he cheated on me in the past but is not now. I am not perfect either I did cheat on him to when ever he wouldn't come be with me I tired to move on and see other people but I only wanted him . my question is . if he always wanted someone else and wanted his ex and never wanted to be with me before why the hell would he all of a sudden come down here and marry me ? things are great but I just don't see how he can not love me for 10 years then all of a sudden I'm his dream girl .. when I got to the point where I didn't care anymore that is when he decided he couldn't be without me ? wtf?

FYI : I know he is not using me or nothing like that . I am a stay at home wife and he works so I no he is not with me for money or anything like that . he is really my best friend but I just don't no why it took him 10 years to get real about me . even thou was have a great marriage now I sometimes still feel stupid for putting up with all the crap I did .sometimes I wish I would have met other people and not wasted all that time on him either but I am inlove with him I always have been


Most Helpful Girl

  • He's with you now and married to you... Does it really matter what it took to make him realize you're the one he wanted?

    Even though he cheated you did too so you can't really resent him for that...

    • I don't resent the cheating part . I'm mad because I wanted him all that time and he never cared but then all of a sudden when no one else is there THEN I'm good enough .. that's how I feel ..

    • I read somewhere that it eventually just clicks for men one day. They don't want to settle down then BANG! they do.

      Don't worry about the past; it doesn't matter anymore. He's your husband now. Just focus on the present and future with him.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Neither of you can't change the past.You can only learn from it.

    It sounds like your future is OK.Put it all behind you and enjoy the present and the future.

  • Love is blind and you can't choose who you love it just happens. I don't why it took him ten years but, it probably was that he still had feelings tied up somewhere else.

    Now that he finally let them go, he can carry on his life with you and have what you because he still had something for you as well.

    At least that what I believe because I had a situation exactly like that so I'm telling you from experience.

    But you have to remember that every man is different so ask him.


What Girls Said 4

  • you're fine now. just leave the past alone

  • He just got older and realized no one else would settle down with him, so he crawls back to good old YOU who has no respect for herself. I'm sorry. You don't. I do hope you can learn to love and respect yourself some day though..

    • your right . I used to not love and respect myself because I had my head stuck so far up his ass that I couldn't see tomorrow.. I used to think I couldn't live without him. now that I grew up I do love myself and I no now I don't need him . I think that is why it is still bothering me . I don't know .. I no now even if I didn't hve him I would still be happy

    • You go girl ;)!

  • Well, even the scales and sleep with his best friend or brother while he's all "in love" with you.. that ought to teach his selfish azz.. AND if you break up.. oh well.

    • LOL .. well if he ever gets a hot friend I might think about it LOL

  • My guess is he probably thought he needed to settle down as he was getting older.

    This is simply my philosophy, I could be totally wrong. But I think once a cheater, always a cheater. I've never seen it work out any other way. I also think if you cheat on someone, you do not love them. People who are truly in love with someone would never do anything to hurt them.

    That's simply what I think.

    • I think anyone and everyone can cheat giving the time and place ... that's everyone . now if it was a relationship on the side yeah that's diff.

    • I would never cheat. Especially on someone I'm in love with. It would be literally impossible for me to.

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