How do you deal with cheating SO?

I have no trust left. My husband cheated on me. I've heard of couples cheating when they aren't happy and fighting a lot but I thought we were happy. We had a home, careers, date nights, nights out with our friends, great sex. Then I found out he had cheated with at least 3 other women in our last 2 years of marriage and I divorced him. When he was going out with his friends it was actually other woman. One of his friends finally told me what he was really doing. It never even occurred to me he was cheating. I never questioned what he was doing.

I have been single for 4 years, never gonna date again, definitely never gonna love anyone ever again.

SKIP AHEAD TO MY PROBLEM: I met a guy 5 months ago we have been exclusive for 3 months. We see each other about once a week. I have no complaints about him. He respects me, is romantic, makes me laugh, shared interests, and again great sex. I haven't told him about my insecurity. But I want to break up with him every time he goes out with his friends. I can't handle being blind sided again. How do other people deal with this?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't dwell on what other people were like, I've never been cheated on. But I've had relationships that I don't want repeated. If I were to judge everyone the same and remain skeptical of them it'd drain me mentally. I prefer to look at everyone as a blank slate when I first see them, don't make judgements before you get to know them.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Use this time of year for atonement - forgive the ex AND forgive the new OR anyone that your wounded heart is suspicious of. In time you will understand the great gift that you are actually giving to yourself! Get back to enjoying this wonderful life and treat yourself to something...whether naughty or nice. Merry Christmas!

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well you divorced him so that's good. It's really hard to recover from that stuff, I know. But it's something you just HAVE to go. I don't know how to tell it any differently. It's like shots. You have to suck it up and deal with it.

    I've been cheated on and left him and I didn't trust guys for a while but I was very open with my current guy about my distrust for men and I told him what my ex did and I also made it clear that I really liked him and wanted to trust him but he would have to earn it. I more or less told him I was like an abused dog he had to win over :p

    And he spent four years painstakingly doing that and then asked me out and has been nothing but good to me for two years.

    This issue is with you, not with him. You're just going to have to force yourself to trust him. Just take a chance on it. It's a gamble, but the guy you're talking to doesn't seem to sound so bad...

    Cheating sucks and I'm sorry people do it and ruin other people in the process.

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