During the time he has moved back we discovered some key problems, not that everything has been perfect since day one or anything. I tend to have some negative and he wanted me to do more complimenting etc. to build up his self-esteem, which is not a natural thing for me. Also, he and I come from extremely different backgrounds so that was always a struggle. I am direct and expect others to be so with me and he subscribes to mid-western manners of “offering the last cookie to someone else before you can have it" which was an entirely foreign concept to me before him. I think this has caused some issues with his family who is not close and don’t talk to one another often. This is strange for me who comes from a close family who is always helping one another out.
The problem: How he indicated to me that we needed to break up was by not extending me an invitation to his family's Thanksgiving with the explanation of his sister and aunt having financial difficulties. I called bullshit on that excuse and he later admitted that it had been his decision. I was stunned because after nearly three years you would think that he would be comfortable to tell me ahead of time.
His logic was that he wasn't happy with our relationship and didn't want to hurt me (what is this guy logic?). He still loves and cares about me , but he doesn't know what he wants out of life and wants to build the foundation of a friendship that we didn't build before we got together (we moved rather quickly and have a strong attraction to one another). I thought we had been improving on our communication and other problems, but I guess he felt that we needed to have time and space for ourselves to grow individually. However, he has seemingly been taking the break up harder than I have, which I find rather strange since he was the one who initiated it in the first place. Is this more of a maturity issue or a personal characteristic that he has? We run in the same social circles so we will inevitably cross paths, but as of right now he tends to avoid me and told me that he hasn’t been able to work through the fact we’ve broken up. (granted its only been a week or two)