First break up, I really don't know what to do?

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years and it was really serious. He was my first boyfriend, we started dating when I was 18 and I am now 21. He left me for another girl (who rejected him). I suffer from anxiety and have many trust issues with myself and with other people. I've always been terrorized to be abandoned but he always reassured me and I believed him. We were stressed out with school and he was having a hard time dealing with my anxiety so we decided to take a break until the end of the semester. He was still telling me that he loved me 2 days after but an hour later, he told me he didn't loved me anymore. 6 days in the break, he asked another girl out. He's been talking regularly to this girl since the summer. He would talk to her about our problem. Once she comforted him and he told me that he felt like he could fall in love with her (this was maybe 3 months ago). It made me so insecure but he ended up being able to reassure me. Now he's telling me that he probably loved this girl since then so he's been lying to me for a while. What pisses me off the most is he's not able to tell me what she have that I don't and it's really driving me mad to not know. We've decided to both stay friend, we're not ready to get rid of each other. It's my first breakup, I really don't what to do, how to feel. I was already going pretty bad and this just makes everything worse, I'm probably going to fail all of my classes. I'm completely lost, it hurt so much.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The pain you're feeling is normal, and you should embrace it as it is a sign of how much your relationship meant to you. The fact that he kept his feelings for this other girl from you for so long is probably because he had no idea how to tell you without hurting your feelings.

    As for what this other girl has that you don't, there's probably no real answer to that. The qualities that you love about one person can be qualities you absolutely hate seeing in another. In the end it's not about how attractive you are, it's who you are. If a relationship doesn't work it's simply because the people involved aren't a good match, or not yet (but don't get your hopes up).

    To deal with it, allow yourself to feel sad and cry when you need to. Talk to your friends and keep yourself busy with things so you don't constantly feel like you need to take some form of action. Physical exercise helps too, especially running or even taking a walk. Finally, allow yourself to feel things for other people. If you get asked out, consider saying yes (if you feel some sort of attraction) and try to have a good time.

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What Guys Said 2

  • What should you do? You should say yes when new guys ask you out, and you should quit talking to your ex. You'll be fine.

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  • You are already blessed for being in relationship. Almost everyone in my life have had their X Girlfriend nd BF's. Makes me jelous because never had any and I am 28. When I am hit and hurt, I spend my time with realest friends.

    Just take your time to heel and then move on. You are not the only soul who is wounded by loss of love. Its easier said than done, but in the end friends stay for life. Relationships come and go before they stay. You are luckier than me and millions like me for having those great years.

    Helping out others is what gets my mind of my own problems. That's why youth work is my field of choice.

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What Girls Said 1

  • This guy doesn't sound like someone you should have in your life. Meet someone else and don't look back.

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