Am I a second choice?

at uni, I met an incredible guy recently and hit it off right away. He asked me out and we went on a few dates over the course of 3 weeks or so. Then, suddenly he told me he can't do it any more, as he has just realized that he is not over his ex, as she didn't officially say they were breaking up, just that she needed a break and didn't feel the same way he does about her. He blames himself for how it all ended, and is having some personal issues (depression etc). But that its nothing I have done wrong, he still really likes me, and in the future maybe we could work out when he's got his head straight.

She's recently moved back into the area and he's going to talk to her about it all as soon as he can face it.

I still really like this guy, but I don't want to be someone's second choice. he is a great, honest man and I don't think he would ever lead me on purposely, but I'm really confused as to where I stand, and how much contact I should have with him till then


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • That sounds like it must have hurt. It sounds like you are second choice. Because his ex moved back, he must think he has a new shot at a new relationship with her. Why would someone all of a sudden decide they still love their ex out of left field which happens to coincide with her moving back. Think about this, if she shuts him out, then he could come back to you, his second choice. I think you should give him a chance, but if he's going to be in contact with her, then you'll always question him cheating on you.


What Girls Said 1

  • You should ditch him. Really, you're way too good to be second choice (I think haha). Is he expecting you to wait for him untill he gets tired of his ex? You can't wait forever. He likes your attention and wants to keep you as a second choice, while maybe getting together with his ex. What is the ex doesn't want him back, will he come crawling back to you? And would you still be happy with him, knowing that you're second in row?

    Hope this helps, good luck!


Recommended myTakes