It's been four months since the breakup and I'm still hurting. What else can I do?

It's been four months since my ex of two years broke up with me and I' still hurting while he has moved on.

When we first broke up I went back to doing TKD for a few days, I was in school so my school work kept me busy, I had an internship that kept me busy for a little, I would hang out with friends, but every time I see a couple I get sad. And it hits me the most at night when I'm alone.

I've done everything that I possibly could have and I'm still suffering and I don't understand why I have to hurt so much when he has moved on.

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  • I was in the same situation as you, a year ago. And I am completely over my ex now. First of all, 4 months may seem like a long time, but 2 years is WAY longer than that. Think of it that way. Just like it took a lot of time to build that relationship, it's going to take time to get rid of the feelings you had for him and that relationship. It took me about 6 months to enter another relationship after I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years, and that second relationship didn't even last long. 2 months. I was still hurting from the previous relationship and I didn't TRUST anyone. I was clingy, I wasn't stable, and you don't want to enter any relationships in this way, because that's unhealthy.

    I went through a lot of stages, depression, anxiety, loneliness, and it has lasted a long time. I have friends going through the same thing.

    I watched YouTube videos about how to get over people, how to learn to be by yourself, how to be confident, how to get over depression. I read so many articles. I've met various guys, I've talked to friends. I met new people. I tried to have fun. I realized that I hadn't been taking care of myself in that relationship. I started researching how to improve myself. I looked up how to deal with acne, how to lose weight, how to be fit, I watched movies, I read books, I drew, I sang, I played guitar. You're probably my age, and I know exactly what you're feeling and I know exactly what's going to happen. You need to look at the world around you and ask what you want in life. That GUY wasn't worth your time. You have a limited amount of time in life, and you shouldn't spend it wasting your tears on some idiot. That is what I've learned.

    4 months is a start, but you're going to need more TIME. To REALIZE things, to learn about YOURSELF. If you tell yourself to stop thinking about relationships, eventually your mind will do so. It WILL get better over time. You have all the time in the world to find someone else who is great for you WHEN YOU'RE READY. So, for now, just keep hanging out with friends, keeping doing TKD, keep moving towards the goals you have in life, research about the things you desire, improve yourself, become a better YOU. And soon, the RIGHT people that satisfy your needs will come to you. You will attract great people, great guys, great opportunities. But the most important thing to remember is that it takes time, it takes effort, and you're going to cry sometimes, you're going to remember bad things sometimes, you might hit a wall, or fall down, but you will get through it. Just like I did, just I am STILL doing, just like others are doing.

    Learn to be yourself, to live by yourself, with yourself, so that the next time you have a relationship they don't become a NECESSITY in your life, but rather an ACCESSORY to make life enjoyable in a different way than when you didn't have the accessory.

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