Come somebody tell me what this girl is thinking?

I am so confused. I really like this coworker girl, but I can't tell what she is thinking or feeling. The thing is she has a boyfriend. She is pretty shy and when she first started I would just see her everywhere, like randomly bumping into her all the time. Then the first time I talked to her she turned tomato red and could barely spit a word out. Over time we developed the same routines taking the same breaks in the morning and arriving to work at the same time. We would walk and talk almost every morning. I started to like this girl too much so I backed off and changed up my routine on her so not to see her as much. I could tell this was messing with her and she would usually come try and find me like try and feel me out. The other day she even drove around the back way where I park I think to check on my status - she has no reason to drive this way because she come from the other side and it's very out of her way. I have been doing this for the past couple of week and I also have been ignoring her. I can tell she is wondering what the hell is going on. So by doing this she has ran to my buddy, and is now matching her schedule with him and walking and talking with him in the mornings like her and I used to. He told me last week that she is doing this and how "its' creeping" him out! This made me mad, especially because this was like her and I's thing and in 9 months have never seen them walk or talk together once.

So I stopped and talked with her yesterday at her cubicle and she seemed cool and happy to chat with me, but now I feel like she's not into me anymore. What is she thinking? What happened? Why?


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What Girls Said 2

  • She maybe saw you as a friend. Or maybe a flirt buddy - someone she could test things out on - I guess you could say. Or she might have thought that you didn't want to talk to her, so she is playing cool. Or many different possibilities. I don't really know.

    • What is as flirt buddy, someone she could test things out on? What does that mean?

    • Like, try out stuff--such as hugs or winks or subtle comments, etc. Something that she's not sure about, but wants to try. I flirt with my guy friends--for me (dateless and kiss-less) its practice for when I actually get a boyfriend. For her, it might just be perfecting techniques.

  • What the other girl said is true. She probably just wanted to be friends or flirt buddies. I'm in a long term (4 year) relationship filled with mutual trust, but my boyfriend and I both have flirt buddies. It helps us keep our skills fresh, and makes us both feel more attractive, confident, and therefore we are more fun during dates and hanging out with each other. It allows us to retain our identities and feel attractive all throughout the day, even when when he/I aren't together. It's just an ego boost that makes our relationship more fun in the long run, so we are huge fans of having flirt buddies ;)

    I bet this is the kind of thing she wanted from you. She wanted to be friends, so she could walk with you, laugh, make cute inside jokes, exchange winky faces, and give advice to help you approach other women you're interested in and receive advice on bday presents for her boyfriend.

    If you want to be friends, just keep talking to her and maybe even address the fact that you want to catch up. Just mention that you've been preoccupied with work, but could use a friendly chat or two and ask her to get coffee.

    • Hmm flirt buddies huh? I could buy that, that would make sense. She just seems to do weird stuff when and if I back off, so it is weird/confusing. I really like her so it's hard for me. It's just weird like if I don't give her attention she runs to someone else, then back to me if I come back.

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