Not meant to sound mean. Has anyone else been confused or frustrated by this?

That people who are much more annoying/worse than me are able to get into long term relationships while I can't?

I mean, I'm not necessarily saying that I'm better than these people. I'm just confused because I'm a sweet, sensitive, down to earth girl who laughs a lot.. and yet my longest relationship has only been 10 months long (with most of my relationships lasting just a couple months). And yet my demanding, high maintenance, lazy, b*tchy college roommate has already met the love of her life and gotten married. And my clingy, possessive, controlling, jealous ex boyfriend has now been in a relationship for about 3 years.

I mean, if they've found people to be happy with, then great for them. Honestly, I'm happy for them. I'm just wondering how they were able to do it so easily when I'm having such trouble.

Am I making any sense at all? Haha.
Selfie as requested link


Most Helpful Girl

  • They're louder and more outright. If you aren't clear about what you want and loud enough, then people won't notice. And its probably that you haven't met your guy yet. That's okay, he'll come.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I'm not sure you should assume you're doing -anything- wrong. Most relationships do not lead to marriage. Not because people 'mess up' but because they're just not THAT into each other.

    I am wondering a little about physical chemistry in your relationships. It seems odd to me that you're dating months and they don't know that you're waiting ... I mean are things progressing and you just have a line they haven't gotten to, or ... is nothing happening?

    If its the latter, either you're broadcasting 'don't touch me' or you're without intending to screening for low drive guys. Or they just don't -feel- like you're into them physically so they just move on. IDK.

    • Well at 2 and 4 months of dating, we would make out and he just didn't try to progress further than that. I only date Christian boys, so maybe they value sex a similar way as me, even if they don't necessarily plan to wait until marriage.

  • Well everyone has our own flaws, and sometimes we are unable to notice it ourselves. Perhaps you have yet to find the "Right One" or you might to change your approach towards relationships.


  • Post a selfie pic and let's see if the problem is your personality or something else?

    • Re: The selfie - You're not unattractive, though is it embarrassment or a rash that seems to give colour to your face in that pic? You've got nice face and nice body, and you're not covering yourself in ridiculous amounts of make up. All is good.

      So it must be something else. And I imagine it's something that none of the guys you've dated has mentioned consistently, or you'd at least have a clue. For example if it was a low libido thing, chances are they'd all have mentioned it and you'd know.

    • Show All
    • Okay... you *may* be right that they didn't know... but honestly? As a guy I strongly suspect they found out. And that is the reason why.

      It's too perfect a fit.

    • That could be. Unfortunately, that's not really something I'm willing to change. :/ Thanks for your insight!

What Girls Said 2

  • What girls perceive as ugly/slutty/bitchy/mean/ungrateful etc is very different than what guys perceive as those things.

    Another thing, a lot of "nice" girls are less attractive, they sit back and expect guys to flock to them. The truth is, few girls have guys flocking to them. Just like few guys have girls flocking to them. It takes putting in effort.

    You aren't entitled to anything just because you're "sweet, sensitive, down to earth"

    If you want something then go get it.

    A lot of times the girls you speak of have personality to make up for it.

    • I should explain. I'm not having trouble getting relationships; I'm having trouble keeping them. I don't mean to sound bitter or anything, I'm just wondering what I'm doing wrong. Thanks for your answer!

    • She met the right guy. You need to do the same. I'd say as long as you aren't wasting your time with different guys (meaning, spending MONTHS with them only to find out they're wrong), then that's fine. Think of it as a weeding out process. Has it helped you figure out what you want from a guy or are you just kind of taking them as they come?

    • No I definitely learn a little more from each guy I date. I have a pretty good idea of what I'm looking for now. What actually sparked this question was that I recently started dating a friend of mine who literally had everything I was looking for, but after less than 2 months he broke it off and said that I wasn't what he was looking for. It's understandable, but it reminded me that most of my relationships ended that quickly, too. I just got a little worried, but your answer is helpful. :)

  • I wonder about that a lot. I see people with bigger social flaws than me who are accepted while the small mistakes that I make put me in the outcast pile.

    Like there was a girl who was breaking laws, slandering people, bullying people, expressing extreme hatred, dominating the conversation, making fun of others, being deliberately ignorant of obvious truths - and she gets accepted by others.

    I used a bunch of big words that normal people don't understand - and I become a social outcast for being a "snobby show off."


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