He contacted his transexual ex because he is afraid of losing me?
What Guys Said 2
This is an unhealthy relationship.
a healthy relationship shouldn't...
- require one person having access to a person's personal info so they can 'check up' on them. you shouldn't be in a relationship where you feel a need to do that and he shouldn't want to constantly have to reaffirm you of his feelings
He sounds insecure and thus he is always going to try and keep his options open with this ex particularly during bad or stressed moments with you because he needs to constantly reaffirm that he is cared for and will have someone to care for him if you dump him.
I honestly rarely suggest breaking up but your relationship sounds volatile and unstable. I think you really need to evaluate what about this guy is worth going through all this stuff. Why you should accept (AT ALL) him telling another girl that he loves her and is going to go see her and all that b.s. because to me that is a 100% relationship deal breaker.
I don't think you should trust him as he has done absolutely nothing to give you reason to trust him. he was telling his ex when you two first got together that he loves her and he is still doing the same thing...that isn't good
"he is not sure if I really want a relationship with him"
So he's insecure about you, and afraid to commit to you in case you dump him.
His solution to this... endanger the relationship and make you dump him.
That makes no sense.
"I said something quite hurtful " "we didn't meet for ten days and hardly texted"
" I found out he and her ex are friends with each other again"
Of course. He was thinking you had broken up with him, so he was reaching out to his ex.
" I can't handle it Because it means the last several months were a lie."
No it doesn't. Now you're being irrational. The previous months were not a lie. Its just that he thought you had broken up. After all, YOU had something very hurtful and then gone silent.
This is your fault, so far.
"I called him and asked him why and lost my control on the phone."
You're not helping things.
" I said our relationship is meaningless"
Yeah, you're really not helping.
" he thought I was a player."
I'm not surprised.
" two days ago I just want to see what he said to his ex on Facebook but I saw AGAIN those I missed you and I want to live with you'! I was totally freak out"
Because he doesn't trust you. He still thinks you're on the verge of dumping him (and he's probably right). If you want him to cut ties with his ex, you have to show him that you're in this relationship with him, and not just standing with one foot already out of the door.
" I punched him and yelled at him"
Well I'd have dumped you for that. He didn't.
The simple truth here is one that you don't want to listen to - you treat your boyfriend like shit, and always seem to be on the verge of dumping him. You let him think he is dumped, you let him think the relationship is over, and then you freak out when he acts like the relationship is over.
You make no effort to earn his trust or calm his fears or insecurities - and you physically hit him.
He'd obviously be better off with the transsexual, and if you are honestly the best girl in his life, then I pity him.
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