Move out or save money? Pay off loans, live at home, or move out and date/have a life?

I owe $350000 in loans to school, but I live with a mom who thinks I am incapable of making my own decisions. I am starting my 1st job with benefits.. no car payments... just inner-city rent and private school loans. If I live at home for a year I won't have loans. She's that mom who tells me when I have to be home... etc. I'm 24. She gets mad when I drink her wine. I think she has an alcohol problem tbh. She also never eats. So annoying. one hard boiled egg, a half English muffin with cheese and two pieces of prime rib for dinner? She's nuts. Has some major control issues.

Now, do I sacrifice my sanity to live here and have her watch and look at my ever meal at age 24 when I am $34000 in debt or do I move out and pay $400 a month for 10 years while I work and live on my own for 1,2000 a month? I live in a major city fyi.

Help! Emo sacrifice or save money? is it worth it to be told "oh I could never eat that much" at ever meal. Should I deal to get cheaper pay for school loans? ah! I could be done with loans in a year if I live at home... but I have to deal with her telling me when I can go out, who with, what times, what I can eat, she'll compare her foods to mine, she'll argue with me, she'll cause problems with my new night hours, she'll drink my alcohol and eat my food even if I don't, she will think she's my boss even if I have a full job.

So. Pay off loans asap or move out and pay off loans over time? I'm thinking the loans will take 5-8 years... :/

I'm serious, she won't let me go to my current departments party. Super controlling. Eating disorder. Possible depression. Ruining her marriage. Rude. Over-pretective. May interfere with my work sleep.

I have money saved up to move out... it's just.. to save money to pay off loan or not?

I seriously can't date here. Idk... what's worth it, my mental health to be my age, go out, date... or to pay off loans faster?

Date? save money?

I'm a nurse fyi, pre-teaching or pre-grad school.


  • Save money because you are $35,000 in debt, deal with your psychotic mom and how she judges your food, lifestyle, controls you
    Vote A
  • Leave, $980/month minus utilities and rent is okay to not deal with a psychotic mother
    Vote B
  • Other. I have one month saved up, but I'll pay loans for 5 years
    Vote C
  • Other suggestions?
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd put up with her for a year if it means your loans are gone. Sure, you have to put off dating for a year and you won't always get along, but that's still better than years of debt. Trust me, I'm still paying off my loans and it sucks.

    • omg. I'm gonna die. Should I do it anyway? She's awful. Watches my every meal.

    • If she's driving you that crazy, then nevermind, GTFO.

    • Yeah, tonight she slammed her fist on the table (in public) because my dad's two credit cards got declined and she was SO embarrassed. She screamed at him too... in public.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • You won't last 10 years with this controlling mother. Run for your sanity. You won't be worth a damn to anyone if you let this woman stay in earshot of you. Find a roommate to share living expenses and pay down your loan faster.

    • Yeah, tonight she slammed her fist on the table (in public) because my dad's two credit cards got declined and she was SO embarrassed. She screamed at him too... in public.

  • stay at home, but make better jobs

    • I'm a nurse. I make great money now. Living out of the house takes a lot. I make $55,000 a year to start, but living expensive at $1,000 a month minus parking a food. I have no car payment.

    • Show All
    • depressed

    • I so agree! However, when I started to ask her about it she labeled me as the jealous overweight daughter. So now I can't help because she thinks I want to be like her! I actually like food! I'm not anorexic, I'm hardly overweight. She just thinks I need to be like her... concerned about my every bite of food.

What Girls Said 1

  • Suck it up for a year and pay those loans off, girl. Think of your year of living at home as an additional investment in your future because that's exactly what it is. The opportunity to be debt-free is amazing and liberating and will free up opportunities in your future. Yes, your mom's somewhat crazy but just keep yourself busy so you don't have to deal with her as much and find a way to manage the stress. If it were truly going to break you psychologically I'd say get out of there, but that doesn't sound like the case.