Me & my boyfriend of 9 years live together & have a daughter. He recently cheated on me 2x why can't I let him

Me and my boyfriend had lived together since we first got together. Since then he has this hobby on chatsites, texting, sexting etc. He says its just a hobby but has never met up with anyone. Yes, I'm hurting but you know...he says he's sorry promises he will stop. He sees me crying and hurting deeply and I can see it in his face how he's hurting me. But back in January of this year I found out that he got a hotel roo. I wouldn't have found out if he hadn't slipped up by leaving behind his timesheet for work. It was a Friday night he got off way to early. So then I confronted him by calling him on his cell while he was at work , but he wouldn't tell me until he got home...i asked him where he was that time he left work..(mind you he has no ctar..he's been using my car to work) he sounded afraid in telling me where he was. Well he came home..i confronted him, at first he said nowhere..I broke down he said he was at room...but the chic never showed up .( ya rite)...but sonehow he was really of course I believed him..and by the messages on his phone chatting with that girl...the messages looked as yes he got stood up. I know that shouldn't matter...bcuz he tried. I told him it was over but he didn't want to leave..i told hin to get the fuck out. He sounded very sorry and made these promses...well til this day I have ni trust but continusely take him back. Just last month I found out again he has cheated on me twice..i just had a miscarriage last month on the 2nd and he knew I was stressed because I knew something was up with him but he wouldn't stop and just be honest with me. Well a few weeks ago I seen a text on his phone..the text said some hotel name...i was furious and angry I calles the # it was sone chic trying to deny she doesn't know my bf..he too denied he knows who she was. Well long story short they knew each other and he ckaims it was just oral..but 2x..i was so EXTREMELY HURT AND I STILL AM, I'm TRYING MY BEST TO LET HIM GO. BUT AT THE SAME TIME I WANT HIM IN OUR LIVES because OF OUR DAUGHTER. I HAS NEVER BEEN HONEST WITH ME EVER. I FIND OUT THE CRAP HE'S DOING ON MY OWN..WHY can't I LET HIM GO? I KNOW HE WILL do it again...but I don't think I can live without him..i tried to break it off so many times but I end up taking him back. I cry everynight and day and he says I dwell to much. He is the type that is not open with me, but wifh the girls he's chatting with its way different. How do I let tbis sick guy go? Iam so desprate and I can't think straight. I love him so much it hurts. He hasn't really trully apologized or even admitted he made a mistake, but does he tell me he loves me and no1 will sver take my place, why the hell do I put up with this crap? Please help anyone. My oldest daughter from a previous hates him. When she was younger she was sofond of him. But she sees me crying all the time, and I don't want both my kids seeing me hurt. Anyone, how can I move on without him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • He's selfish and absolutely no good. He's tearing you apart emotionally and completely ruining your life and your daughter's life. Nothing good will come from the relationship.

    Do you have a support system of family, friends, and neighbors that could help you when you boot this loser out of your life? You have to do it - yesterday!

    Remind yourself when you do it, he has absolutely no respect for you. You have to respect yourself and your daughter and do what's right - for both of you. As difficult as it will be, this isn't time for emotions. He's a jerk and he's screwing you over; taking advantage of you, over and over again. Guys like that deserve to be hung by their balls in the middle of town square to be ridiculed by all. He makes me sick. And to call sexting a hobby... My god. I really think I'm gonna puke.

    You're not alone on this one because it sounds like you really need help. I'll support any way I can if you want.

    • Its so absolutely breaking my heart jusf thinking about letting home...BUT I KNOW You R RIGHT! I just held on in hopes that maybe just maybe he will change. I ask myself wveryday..what is it am I really holding ob too? I think about all the pain he put me through many heartaches. However I still let him back in. All my co workers...friends...and neighbors tell me the same rhing...kick him out...they warned me more than once ir will happen again...i didn't listen.

    • Show All
    • I know it must be confusing. Your emotions are running high from the miscarriage and what he's doing to you. The fact is he's using you. He will never be honest with you. He will never be faithful to you. He has a SERIOUS problem. You shouldn't be "letting" him go, you should be "throwing" him out. I would think you'd be full of rage. Biologically he's your daughter's father, and that's it. He's showing NO responsibilty to either of you. He doesn't love you. He's using you and screwing you over.

    • It's difficult but you'll need to separate your emotions from logic in order to see things the way they really are. The other thing I'm sensing is that you're afraid to let him go because you may have some confidence issues. Try to dig deep and find strength from within. Give yourself some credit. You're worth a hell of a lot. You deserve a life without the torment of this bozo. You say you love him. You should despise him for what he's doing. Please respect yourself enough to be pissed at him.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You have lost your self worth and respect, unless you get this back, you will allow this guy to treat you with no respect and feel as if it is OK to cheat on you because you constantly allow him to do it and come back, so you need to grow a back bone again and make him realize that your worth more than he can offer, don't just stay for your daughter, because she will end up doing the same mistakes as you, and do you want that for your daughter?,x

    • How do I do that? Many years had gone by and I built my whole life around him. It's easier said then whole life revolves around the FUCK can I get over this ass..(sorry fot my french)? I know deep down he will hurt mr again...but I can't let him

    • I'm not saying its easy, but you need to be able to tell this guy that your not putting up with it any more and mean it, don't accept his infidelity as the norm, show him you deserve more, only then will he start respecting you,x

  • Ouch, having kids complicates things greatly. There should be no question that he needs to go though, so how to do it..= I think you need to get away from him somehow, at least for a time. No breakup is ever pretty and it almost always gets worse with rebounds. Time away where you don't see him, talk to him or anything like that helps get rid of the feeling of wanting him back. No contact for a while is the only shortcut that works.

    • Ive tried that method twice...see he lives with me..i packed up..threw his belongings our...but I end up calling him off the gook. I don't understand y?

What Girls Said 2

  • How can you get the strength to move on from him?...your daughters need you as a role model and when they see a man even if it is their own father, cheat and lie to you, things will repeat themselves and they may grow to believe its OK for a man to act this way. The pain you feel, the hurt and portrayal you don't want your daughters to ever feel that pain so leave him for them. They are young innocent lives dependent on you to show them the way. he is a grown idiot.

  • You still love him! He's been there for so much of your life. Losing him would not only devastate you but your daughter! I'm the same way giving up what you know you doesn't deserve you is probably the hardest thing! He doesn't deserve you and you deserve better than him but you need to let him go. You can find better if you let your heart. You don't only deserve better but your kids do too

    • Thanks so much...but how? Just by thinking about how...i start tearing heart aches...i tried and tried to let him go? I end up taking him or chasing him back. I don't have the courage or strenght to just let him go...

    • I was the same way...Every time my ex and I would stop talking my heart would ache to hear his voice! Honestly it's been 8 months now and I still miss him every once in a while. Bu tit's true time heals, and once you find someone who is deserving of your love, the feelings you once had all change how you look at your ex

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