Do you stop caring about an ex?

My ex had a huge crush on me, and persistently asked me out. I was just good friends with him, but eventually said yes. We dated very seriously for one year. He broke up saying he legimitely got scared because he never saw our relationship ending, and he was too young to commit to one girl...esp since I was his first real girlfriend (he is 23). I totally believe him!

It feels like he has stopped caring for me nowdays, even as a friend. I got into a car accident months after breaking up, and he never offered his help even when I texted him during it. He didn't even ask "are you ok?". We work together. And he usually doesn't seem to go out of his way to help me, or hang out with me, or talk to me. The stuff he used to find amusing about me, he seems to get annoyed with nowdays. I just get a general feeling of huge disinterest and non-caring (even less than a person would care for a stranger!). He treats EVERYONE else at work with such politeness and care.

I don't want to date him, but I want to be a friend he legitimately cares about. We are not strangers! So why do we act like it? Only thing he has done recently, is asked a couple of my friends if I like someone else, or if I am dating someone, and if I'm over him.

It breaks my heart to see him not give a crap about me and what happens to me on a daily basis. I have gone out of my way to help him, and will always be there for him. Have you guys ever felt like that? How do you get past it?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all his reason for breaking up is a cop out. He saw you guys being together forever so he had to end it. Isn't that the reason we date, to find someone we want to spend our lives with? I may be out of touch, but that reason for breaking up doesn't make sense unless he just wants to be with other girls for sex. In that case you should see him for what he is. He ignores you and shows no concern for your well being, the solution should be obvious. Forget you ever knew him and move on. Iam however a hopeless romantic that understands sometimes it is hard to get over someone even when they no longer care about you. Based on how this guy is treating you, I wouldn't hold out hope for anything. Focus on yourself and your goals. Write in a journal or even on GAG about how you feel, or if you have another way to get your frustration out, pursue that avenue. Just work day by day to achieve your goals, and one of these days you'll find this guy and his actions no longer affects you. I hope this helps, best of luck to you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Some people turn bitter against their exes. It's just life.

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    • Let me add that it isn't about reasoning, it's just something that happens, and it can even when they are the cause or initiator.

What Girls Said 4

  • I've felt like that before but I know for me, I'll never stop caring about my ex. Even though I've felt and it has seemed like my ex didn't care about me post-break up, he was looking out for himself and even me by trying to limit our communication (eventually he put an end to it altogether). I think now that there aren't any hard feelings I can see that he still would care for me if something happened.

    But you also can't expect your ex to treat you the way he did when you were together. You're right--you're not strangers but right now, the break up is too new and the feelings are too raw for y'all to act like anything else right now. Give it time, expect nothing, and try not to think about it as much as you can. Find distractions and even meet some new guys just so you have a "texting buddy" of sorts so you'll have a temporary 'replacement' for your ex. That way you won't feel like you need him to talk to you so much.

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  • Sometimes you almost need to keep exes at arms length or they mistake it for more..

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  • I did.

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  • I do what I have to do to not see or spend time around a ex. No good comes from it.

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