Sooo confused right now?

so I have a girlfriend, and things have gone bad. I know I will have to break up woth her, but I don't know if I should before or after Christmas.

and to add to it I met an amazing girl she is just like me but when I asked her for her number just to hang out she told me she has a boyfriend...then gave me her number. I didn't know what to do so I messaged the one person I knew could help, my ex. I now find out she is single and I got her number...im so confused. I don't know up from down right now. please help.

ps... I know I need to end things with my girlfriend just don't know if I should before or after Christmas.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • The issues between you and your girlfriend may very well be bad, but there is high chance that your infatuation for this new girl, and her availability, has made them seem unbearable to you. And as a result, you are feeling ambivalent and hesitant about ending things with her because, let's face it, there is chance that you will regret you decision to break up with her if things don't work out as you expect with the new girl.

    Nonetheless, If you are adamant in your decision to end the relationship with your girlfriend but want the possibility of a reconciliation or a friendship to remain, I think you should do so after Christmas and the holidays. If you have the slightest of doubts, then the time you spend with her over the holidays should be viewed as an aide to your decision.

    However, if you must go now, then you must go now.

    Bear in mind, the extenuating circumstances in which your girlfriend will forgive you for breaking up with her shortly before the holidays are extremely limited, so, make sure your decision is thoroughly thought out before you consider acting.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Do it as soon as you can.

    If things have gone bad by the way you two she is well aware things won't last and won't be that surprised - though she obv. might get upset. That's normal if she loves you.

    If things are bad because you yourself decided you no longer want to be with her, but she has no clue how you feel, then it's just horrible keeping appearences for Christmas. It's better to end as soon as possible and let her be distracted by Christmas instead, maybe having her family around etc will help if she gets crushed. Wishing her a nice Christmas and breaking up after she might feel like she was fooled. Like "hm 2 days ago everything was fine and he even wished me a nice Christmas and bla bla and now he's gone". That's not fair.

    It's never easy, but be honest with her fast and tell her precisely you didn't want to lie to her not even for 24h because you respect her, and then add that you know how bad the timing is but you prefer to be straightforward, and felt like you couldn't hide it, that you wouldn't like if anyone did that to you. That's the grown up and honest thing to do.

    Now another piece of advice. Leaving a relationship and trying to start something immediatly after you're setting your next relationship to disaster. Let yourself be alone and learn how to cope with being alone for some time. More even, if that girl finds out you left a girl and chased her soon after, she won't trust you because you won't seem like a stable person. At all. She will doubt your ability to 'love', as in..wait a minute, he was there, now he's here and...who knows what the heck can happen to me tomorrow? the same? does this guy know when he loves someone? Believe, she will think that. And if you don't tell her, she will find out on her own and then you're just toasted. And all of this assuming she is interested in you, and she doesn't seem to be - told you she had a boyfriend when she doesn't now.

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  • eghaadksf that's a hard one. I think I'd end now cause after Christmas you have new years and then blah family stuff there unless you can drag it out that long...does your girlfriend also think that things have gone bad? If so, the sooner the better.

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  • I'd personally wait until after Christmas...unless you think it'd be unbearable (if you'll be together with each others' families) then I'd end it now.

    P.S. you also need to figure out what the hell you want before going and pursuing someone else. And that someone else should definitely NOT have a boyfriend already. Don't be that guy.

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  • who did you find out was single and got who's number? I'm so confused with your last lines.

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What Guys Said 4

  • When you know that a break up is inevitable, it's best to do it immediately.

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  • Okay, there's a lot going on here. Let me see if I can sort through it.

    First, end things with your girlfriend before Christmas. If you are going to break up with someone, there is no reason to string them along. Plus, and this is purely my evil side thinking out loud here, you'll save money on Christmas presents!

    Now, let's see what else you got going on here...you've got a amazing girl who has a boyfriend but still gave you her number. And you've got a single ex girlfriend.

    Let's take these one at a time. Ex-girlfriend first. Why did you break up? Looking at that will clearly answer whether or not you need to go back to her. If you broke up because you two weren't ready or whatever, then give it another go. If she dumped you for someone else, then she will again. Proceed at your own risk.

    The amazing girl...now why is a girl with a boyfriend giving you her number? How you feel if your girlfriend gave some other guy her number? Sounds to me like you may want to be cautious. I'll tell you this, if a woman leave another man to be with you, then she has the capacity to leave you for the next better/funnier/richer/nicer/sexier/cuter man that comes along. So you may want to not mash the gas on that amazing girl until she is single as well.

    Hope this helped. I wish you the best of luck.

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  • Do it right away. Delaying the inevitable isn't good for anybody.

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  • I think after Xmas would be better. No need to spoil anyone's day more than needed.

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