Shy guys: does it help if you know the girl already likes you?

I know shy guys have trouble making the first move. I'm curious if making the first move is easier for them if they already know the girl likes them.

I think I have made my interest pretty clear. I haven't made a move or anything like that, but I have done things like:

become very smiley/giggly out of nervousness

I smile a lot around him

I have made an effort to show him that I remember things about him

initiate conversation

being engaged while talking to him

asking questions about him and not just talking about myself

It should be pretty obvious I like him right?

Because my interest in him is decently apparent it shouldn't be too tough for him to make a move (if he wants to) right?

Or am I wrong?


Most Helpful Guy

  • With us ultra introverts it can be damn near impossible to approach you girls.

    But if you've given very clear, and big, green lights then we try our hardest ...but only if the signals are very consistent.

    You girls need to give us signs each and every time you see us; I really like a girl in my school, and I think she likes me, but I can't be sure because she gives me all signals, but then next when I see her she doesn't give me any signals.

    And then there are those guys that think you are just being friendly, and then there are us guys that have had enough of girls that flirt with us but have boyfriends at home ...yeah, I don't go that route. I see signals from multiple girls all the time at my school, but because of those girls (I've been burnt in the past by that) I don't approach anymore


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What Guys Said 5

  • Yes and a little bit of no. It has two sides really.

    On one side, it's cool that I know she likes me so I don't have to be afraid of rejection, because I don't have to figure it out anymore. On the other side, it's still tough because I'd still be afraid of what to do and say, not to screw it up with her. It would still really bother me, but I think it would still be worth it to know she likes me.

  • Yeah, speaking as a completely oblivious shy guy, never assume it's completely obvious.

    To answer your question, yes it helps to know she likes you, it makes it easier, not necessarily easy though. And again he may be that oblivious.

  • that would make it easier

  • Yes you are right. unless the guy is like under 16 or extremely introverted (not many of these over 18) then he should know that you like him. Maybe he is too scared to make a move though. Why don't you ask him out instead of waiting for him?

    • I've never asked out a guy before and the idea terrifies me!

      Do you think that because he likely knows I like him and he hasn't made a move he doesn't like me? He's honestly not that shy around other people and even when I first met him, so I don't think he's crazy introverted. He does some shy things around me that give me a shy type vibe, but I haven't seem him do that with others.

      Because he's not shy around others would he be able to make a move if he liked me enough?

    • Show All
    • Hm okay. Yeah he's definitely not pushing me away and I don't really think he's the type to take the initiative. Do you have an idea how I can step it up a gear without coming on too strong? I don't want to ask him out. I'm really new at this, so if you have some ideas how I could get things going in a casual way that would be awesome!

    • Well if you are at College/University together, tell him you are struggling with work and ask him to come and help you outside of the classroom

  • "It should be pretty obvious I like him right?" Oh you'd be surprised. He could be thinking you're just being nice and maybe even pity flirting. I can say that in hindsight that there was maybe one girl that might have liked me (eh who knows?) and it never occurred to me then. Even if she came right out and said it, it wouldn't have dawned on me because it could have been done for a laugh. That's happened before.

    • hm okay, what do you think is a good way to make my interest completely clear?

      please don't say ask him out, I'm too shy to do that lol

    • Well, that's a difficult thing to answer. If he's not getting it, what else is there other than a more direct approach? I guess if you two have any mutual friends, they could help you out. Other than that, I don't know. Eventually, it's going to get the to the point where it's the direct approach or you'll just have to find someone else that you develop a crush on.

What Girls Said 2

  • Some guys are totally clueless that a girl is interested in them, you pretty much have to hit them over the head before they realize it.

    Next time try asking him for his phone number or his Facebook information and see how he responds.

    • i have added him on Facebook lol

  • upfront is the best thing to be