How can I stop thinking about him?

it has been a year now, day for day, that this friend told me he loved and that he wanted to be with me.we have been together eversince.but things got messy and he broke up with 3 months ago. I know I'm way too complicated but he dumped me like a piece of trash without any solid explanation so when I see him in college now we don't talk.we act like perfect strangers and that suits me! I saw that he went back talking like shit with the girls he once told me were selfish bitches! things like "i love you" blablabla...i'm really happy we're not together anymore because I don't want to be with someone like that...but I don't know why..he keeps passing through my mind and I can't accept that...could you just help me make things clear in my mind pliiiiiiiz :'(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know exactly what the situation was, but sometimes when your with someone who always keeps you on edge you get used to the constant stress. You become accustomed to it then when its gone, you miss that feeling however messed up it was. Just based on what you put in your overall question, how he discarded you like yesterdays garbage and doesn't acknowledge your presence and went back to the lifestyle he supposedly despised, he probably has a personality disorder. These people have a way of screwing with your head like no other. Either way you mentioned you were in college which is awesome, concentrate on making yourself the best you can be. Set goals for yourself and don't rest until you meet those goals, then set even higher goals.

    It will take time, but the pain and confusion caused by this loser will subside. Redirect those negative feelings into motivation to rise to the top of whatever you choose to be.

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    • it's tempting to believe what you are saying about him..that he has some personality disorder..i personally think that since he went back to his old lifestyle, it means that he didn't really love me,that it was just a play or that I was wrong to pull him away from those people,maybe I'm the bad one!i'll do what you and Kayla said...i'll just focus on me and my interests!

    • He was acting the entire time you were together. Another negative effect of a toxic person is to make you believe everything was your fault. Your life and prospective career is all ahead of you, keep focused on these aspects, and you will achieve great things.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Easiest way to forget about someone is to date another person. Doesn't need to be serious or anything. Just go out, enjoy the city, watch some movies, go out for dinner.

    You'd be amazed how quickly you forget someone who claimed to love you.

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    • the thing is that..when I was with him..i couldn't stop thinking about the men I've known before him...not that I wanted to be with them but the fact is that it always ends in bad terms so I find myself comparing him to those guys and it pissed me off! I don't want to relive that...i want to forget about him before seeing someone else..that way..history won't repeat itself

What Girls Said 1

  • I've found that the best way to stop thinking about someone without just waiting it out is to find someone new. By that I mean not another boyfriend necessarily, but just a little fling. Even for just a night or two would be great, because your mind already knows he's no good and you shouldn't go back, and by being with someone else that helps the heart also move on and realize there are more fish in the sea.

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    • that is a very good advice to give to someone who is plain and almost invisible!trust me...i have crushes but unfortunately they don't see me :)

    • Yea don't worry about it, I am shy as well and when I was still pretty beat about a guy I had broken up with 6 months ago. You don't need to get with a crush even. The first moment that I can say I completely forgot about the whole issue with the previous boyfriend was when I was at a bar with a friend, and a guy who I didn't know approached us, chatted with me all night, kissed me&gave me his number. Kind of like a moment when you realize you can do better, and that's how it should be with a guy.

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