I want a child with my boyfriend but I'm nervous to bring it up, how can i?

me and my boyfriend been together for over 5 years. currently, he lives with me and we are about to get a house together. we talked about having a child together, but the subject was left alone due to a problem that occurred between us. I want us to have a child together but I don't know how to bring it up. I was pregnant last year but we lost our son due to a doctor mistake. I want us to start a family. but we been dating over 5 years but was broken up for a year due to the fact I had to move to another state, now I am back. how can I bring the matter up?

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What Guys Said 11

  • Are you financially secure?

    Do you have time to take care of the child?

    Do one or both of you have a stable job for the foreseeable future?

    Are both of you emotionally ready for the immense responsibility of raising a child?

    Do both of you have your personal baggage sorted away?

    Can you put the life of someone else before your own?

    These are questions you need to ask yourself...

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  • Shouldn't you get married first? A child is a serious commitment, and you want him around for good, yes?

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    • What's marriage got to do with havng a kid?

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    • You can be fully commit without a piece of paper saying that you are. Shocker isn't it?

    • Women initiate the majority of divorce cases, so no worries if they're not married, haha.



  • Did he want the first one, fully and completely?

    If yes, he's still healing.

    If no, well, then there is really a lot to say, too much to put here for now.

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  • yeah these situations are always tricky. Bring it up and focus on his body language and how receptive he is to the convo. and be honest. If he's ready to have kids with you he's not gonna want to even wait a day to start lol.

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  • this is so personal the only way to go about it is simply to talk go for it. And it may not go exactly as you want but something that important needs to be talked over.

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  • Talk to him about it and tell him how you feel. If he doesn't want it, you need to rethink your relationship. Should never force a guy in to having a kid

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  • I don't have any experience with this but maybe just talk with him about it.. Be serious and don't beat around the bush. Just tell him straight up and say that you want a baby... Good luck with it.

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  • just pop a few pin holes in the condoms you use and do it that way...

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  • Just sit down and discuss wanting to have a family. See how he feels about it.

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  • I have no idea I guess you could just tell him upfront

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  • Tell him you want to sit down and talk and...then just be honest ^^

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What Girls Said 6

  • have a heart to heart and then have a pelvis to pelvis

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  • If you think you guys are truly ready for that step, then you should talk about it with him (when he's in the best mood). You almost had a child, so I mean, I don't think he's absolutely against the idea of having a child, unless he expressed otherwise. I would just advise you try to make sure that everything is stable both emotionally and financially before you even bring up the idea. You say that you guys are getting a house together so I would wait until you are settled in. If he doesn't want to discuss it, I would just assume he's not ready but make sure you get a straight forward answer. You're still young so there's no rush. As you probably already know, a child is hard work and it's not some accessory . That's another person you're creating equipped with emotions and his or her own reality. So, you should want to create the best environment as possible for that child.

    But yeah, just be direct. If that's a serious boyfriend, that's something you should be able to talk about freely.

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  • Just express your desire to have a child one day, and ask him what he thinks. Or ask him what he thinks about having children. It can be a very intimidating conversation to have especially if you have no idea what he's going to say. Trust me, I've had this conversation. But it is probably the most important discussion a couple can have before moving on to the next level of a relationship.

    Good luck :)

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  • Just make him a home cooked dinner, have a glass of wine or two, and tell him how much you love him and want to see a little 'him' running around. I know it's a sensitive subject because of your loss (so sorry to hear that), but not everything happens right the first time around. If you were both willing to start a family before, I don't think he would have much of a problem if you wanted to try again.

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  • If you're sure he's the one you want to father your children, then I would talk it out with him and see what he wants.

    Just make sure you're both 100% financially secure, and that your relationship is sound.

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  • you just have to tell him straight up..

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