What do I do about his girlfriend?

I feel horrible knowing that my ex boyfriend that I was with for 4 years is a cheater and not telling his girlfriend. My conscious keeps on telling me to do the right thing and tell her. Obviously she's not going to ask me such a question as she doesn't know.. I have no problem with her at all and as I know what I lost wasn't good for me. I broke up with him after he cheated on me and he wanted to get back together during those months. There is going to be a party and they will both be there. I have decided not to talk to my ex anymore but I have no problem speaking to her. She is just an innocent partner as I was when I was with him. I want her to know that if he cheats it's not her fault he's just that type of person. I am genuinely caring for her not to get hurt and go through the same thing I had to go through.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Stay out of it. Are you planing on following him around telling all of his future girlfriends about his past as well? This has nothing to do with wanting to help his new girlfriend. Your desire to tell her has more to do with your wanting to get back at him for what he did to you, than your desire to help her.

    His new girlfriend is capable of taking care of herself. People don't need or want someones ex coming up to them and telling them about their partners cheating past. For one they may just think you are bitter, which you clearly are. Or that you want him back and need her out of the way. Even if she believes you and dumps him, then what? All that will happen is that he will find a new girlfriend and you become the crazy ex that follows him around trying to sabotage all of his relationships.

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    • I have never said I wasn't upset on what he did. Just the opportunity of telling her is there but I would want to tell just her. It's not my fault he brings the girlfriend around me. I know he can date other people I just can't face the fact that I can be lying to someone right at their face. It's not like people are there waiting to get cheated on. Or people are happy and jolly when they get cheated on.

    • Show All
    • Actually no. I don't know any men that ever go out of their way to tell our ex's new guy that she cheated on us. We might call her a slut while talking amongst our friends and family, but that is about it. If you tell her then you will create a lot of unnecessary drama that won't do any good anyway. Either he will cheat on this girl, or he will cheat on another girl.Even if you become the crazy ex that can't stay out of his life, you still can't stop some girl from getting cheated on eventually.

    • I'm not in his life at all he's the one that comes around my friends. I haven't called him since he got with her.

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What Guys Said 1

  • unless she is a friend of yours I would probably steer clear of this action.

    your intentions may be good but even the best intentions can have negative outcomes. you don't necessarily know that he is cheating on her or that she isn't aware of it. you also don't want to potentially come off as the sour ex trying to break up a couple.

    unfortunately this is kind of a matter where you just need to let things play out. If you were a close friend of hers then I'd suggest that maybe you could just mention your experience but since you aren't I don't think (even though you have good intentions) that your message will come off the way it should.

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    • Actually I'm ignoring him now when he comes by. If he so much as peeps at me that day I'm going to tell him he knows why I'm ignoring him. I'll give him the reason and if she's there so be it. It would be a conversation between him and I. It's with him I have the problem and not her.

    • i understand taht you have a problem with him... my answer stays the same though

    • Ignoring him is actually doing him a favor. If he's smart enough he won't try to talk to me.

What Girls Said 1

  • You seem like a very nice and well-intentioned person, however, I'm not sure if that is a good idea. I understand where you're coming from and why you want to talk to her, however, it's just hard to tell how she may react. She may simply think you're lying because you want him back. Or she just will brush it off.

    That being said, I think if this is really weighing heavily on your conscious then you could pull her aside and in a calm and polite way, inform her about what your ex did and that you genuinely don't want to see the same thing happen to her. That way, the weight will be lifted off of your shoulders but it's completely up to her as to how she takes this information. She may be thankful that you told her or she may be rude and claim that you're lying. Either way, keep calm and just tell her that you simply care and thought it was best for you to let her know and just leave it at that.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do:)

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