Why is boyfriend annoyed that I don't want to move in with him?

Well my boyfriend and I've been dating (separately) for nearly 2 years and he's been lately asking me to move in with him.

I don't want to and told him no and it seems like he got kind of irritated. I just don't want to. I don't do that. I had 2 prior bfs and never moved in with them either. I just believe there is a place to be serious and a place to be dating if I just want a relationship.
The fact that he's being getting a bit distant and getting upset when I refused to move in with him is already making me kind of reconsider the relationship. It seems that my NO to that hurt him.

I feel that I'm going to waste time by moving in with him just like that and no real purpose.
His reason he keep telling me was along the lines of ''But it would be nice to know each other better, it'll bring us closer, etc...

I don't get this. We've stayed for a couple days in each others' house on vacations so that's enough to me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like you don't really love him. But he is obviously deeply attached to you...for right now. You don't see him as a long term (permanent) relationship possibility, but he wants to figure out if you could be his future wife.

    I can understand why he got upset. I would never move in with a boyfriend either like that, but I would definitely explain my reasoning! Why do you not want to move in? "I just don't want to" is not a reason.

    Is it because you don't see this relationship going anywhere? That's what it sounds like this issue boils down to. In that case, you should let this guy go. He sounds like a good guy and you're not ready for that kind of deep relationship.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Because he has goals in the relationship and wants to see if he can take things to the next level with u. You obviously have no real plan or goals so I'm not sure what your doing. You going to date some guy for 5 years and say " I just don't want to do any of those things" sweet. And shocker that he seems distant after saying no to moving in. You just halted the progression of the relationship and he sees you as a waste of time now.

  • Perhaps it would be economically beneficial for him if he you moved in with him, or he may simply dislike living alone. In any event, he may be more understanding about your decision if you gave him a more detailed answer.

    • Or maybe she doesn't like the idea of being a forever live-in girlfriend. You know how many women have been lately living with their girlfriend for 1-5 years and they never make it to the next level in a relationship they've been long waiting for? Maybe she doesn't want to be that girl that lives with no deeper commitment. I'll never move in (and never have) with a man without at least being engaged. I'm old fashioned and like it that way.

What Girls Said 1

  • he wants to take it to another level..don't u? you can't date forever,don't you see a future with him?

    • No he doesn't. This is a game many men are playing nowaday to get a girl to live with them for years, he gets all his needs met while there is never a future talk and timelines established. If a man keeps insisting for me to be just a live-in girlfriend then I see that there is no future in that relationship. Too many women are living together with a boyfriend for years and they never get proposed too. I think she's scared of being that girl.

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    • I know very well nothing is 100% guarantee in life but there is more chance of wasting time if I cohabite and suddenly after 2 years want to bring the future talk, only to find out he was never into that or is waffling than not cohabite from the start and only move in once engaged. I think there should be things in order. Moving in without a promise of engagement but rather than ''Ok let's just play house and see how things go'' means nothing to me.

    • ok so he gives you what you want and promises an engagement only to move in and call it off in two years? that makes no sense,obviously your gut is telling you something so trust your gut

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