Ever regret not going further?

This is going to sound very weird, only because whenever most people breakup, they regret doing stuff with their ex. However, my ex and I never went below the belt in the 10 months that we were together. Sometimes, I secretly wish that I would have done more with him because I was in love with him and still am.

So my question is, has anyone else felt this way before? Is this normal? I remember back with my first ex, I felt bad that we had never shared a kiss after we broke up. (Even though we were young and that relationship didn't last long.) However, once I got my first kiss, I was happy with the person that I shared it with and was even more happy that I never kissed my first ex.

My friends have told me that if I would have gone further, such as sex, (with my last ex) whenever he broke up with me, I might have really regretted it and that they respected me for not rushing into things. However, I will admit that I fantasize about having sex with him sometimes; although I remember how scared I felt about going further because I am not the most experienced person when it comes to sexual activities. My ex and I took new steps that I had never experienced, but he went further with his last girlfriend than he did with me. He's also four years older than me.

Is this weird? Am I just thinking about things too much? Has anyone else ever felt this way? As I always viewed it, you can always do stuff with a person in the future, but can never take back the past.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think that's weird at all. I know I've definitely felt that way. I was very inexperienced which always annoyed me because I was afraid to make the first move because I didn't even know how to kiss. After I do things with other people, I always wish I had done them sooner because it's so not a big deal. Sometimes I wish I lost my virginity before I did. I wish I had my first kiss before I did. But there's no point wishing for it, it's just as pointless as regretting going too far with someone. You can't change the past. But it's totally normal, it's human nature to wish to change the past and not be happy with where we are. So we have to try to fight that nature. Just so you know, having sex with him would have made breaking up with him way harder because you would have become more emotionally attached. Don't wish to change anything. It's a waste of time and energy that could be used on productive things. :)

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I think that if you loved someone at the time then you'll never regret the sex if it was your first time.. The girls who I know who regretted their first time was only if it was with some random person who they didn't care about.

    I've regretted ending relationships without trying to work things out more.. Those are some pretty awful regrets..

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  • Most men regret missed opportunities more then ones they took, unless there were STDs or unplanned pregnancies.

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  • I only regret not having sex with some girls in the past.

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What Girls Said 3

  • First off, I don't think you sound weird at all. I can kinda relate as in wishing I had perused things differently, or been more decisive with people I've been with in the past. Sometimes I'll catch myself fantasizing how things might have gone if I had made those decisions, but like xobrowneyedbeauty said there's no point in dwelling on it now.

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  • It seems you are fantasizing about "what could have been" which may or may not have been better than what happened, but it didn't so there's no use thinking about it

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  • No I don't

    Be true to yourself

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