He cheated with me. How do I make it right? How do I forgive myself?

I am madly in love with my ex and I have been for the last four years. He is in a new relationship. About a week ago we slept together and then again a few days later we went dancing together and it got a little out of control (making out, feeling up) and although I didn't know for sure that he was still dating her, I didn't take the time to ask until after the damage was done. I know that what I did was selfish and wrong and there is no way to justify it. I just got lost in the moment. I have wanted him to want me back for so long that I just put everything else out of my mind. I feel absolutely horrible about it. My ex is going to come clean to his girlfriend and I was thinking of writing her a letter apologizing for it.

I know that there is no excuse for what I've done. It was a terrible thing. I feel so bad in every way possible, emotionally, physically, spiritually. I feel like a terrible human being. What can I do to make it right? Or have I done all that I can do? How do you forgive yourself after something like this?

Please don't just comment to tell me how bad this was. Trust me anything you could say I've already thought worse about myself.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Oh man. This is a tough subject to comment on. There is nothing that you can do to make the girlfriend feel better about this. All you can do is face the music. You can confess to her if you think it will make things better, but most likely it won't. Do what you feel would be best and let the chips fall where they may. I have a hard time keeping my personal opinion out of this, but I will commend you for taking responsibility for your actions. The damage is done, take everything one day at a time and put your efforts in to keeping on track to being the person you want to be. Best of luck to you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • You need to respect yourself a little more, because if you did, you wouldn't have allowed him near your "temple" to begin with.

    You can't do anything to make it right. What's done is done.

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  • I think the letter is a bad idea...it will only make her more furiously angry or more sad.

    I say wash your hands with the situation and move on the best you can.

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  • It's not your problem, he's the low life cheater.

    Now do yourself a favor and never contact him again! No calling/texting/Facebooking/snapchatting... no contact! Block him!

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    • I think you will find that it takes two people to cheat. Both of them are cheaters, I don't understand how you missed this simple fact. How is it not her problem? Clearly it is.

    • I agree that it is partly my problem but I am not a cheater. I may be selfish and inconsiderate in this situation but I didn't promise someone that they would be my only. I made no promises. He cheated on his girlfriend. I wasn't in a relationship with her.

    • I stand behind my answer.

  • Put yourself in her shoes. Would you like some girl that cheated with your man to write you. Probably not.

    The damage is done. It is not "terrible thing" on your part, but it is on his. Why do you think he feels the need to come clean.

    Forget and forgive. If his relationship was meant to be then him and his girl will pull through. It is just a relationship don't take so seriously (no offense) but that is the problem with some females, you think to far into stuff.

    Plus many girls in your situation would have don't the same

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What Girls Said 3

  • To tell you the truth it's probably now up to him, I am not sure that there is much you can do. Being hurt I am not sure both of you apologizing to her is going to make a big difference right now, maybe later on down the line but now it could be a little overwhelming.

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  • No don't contact his girlfriend that'll make it worse. This is on him now to fix things between him and her. Don't beat yourself up over it the best thing to do is distance yourself from him as far as possibe. Learn to have more self-control and learn from your mistake, people make mistakes but the ones who learn from those mistakes have learned from it and moved forward.

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  • We all make mistakes, the best we can do is learn from them. I think as much as you want to make it right; writing his girlfriend, I think it might make her feel worse. I think the best thing you can do is try to forgive yourself and try to move past this. Learn from this and everything will be OK.

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