I once asked what the dumbest thing you've heard someone else say was. Well, time to look in the mirror, because I'm bored and my girlfriend is watching that stupid ass Teen Wolf show, haha. Anyway, simple question, let 'er rip.
Mine (one of many):
My freshman year of college I took Biology 101, and the class included 3 hour-long lectures per week, plus a 3 hour lab. Well, I don't attend many hour-long lectures, and certainly not 3 hour labs. F*ck that noise, haha. So anyway, not surprisingly, I failed and had to retake it.
Turns out, lab attendance was mandatory, so I had to go. I had no idea how I was going to make it through 3 hours. So I started a routine of taking two blunts to the face before lab in an attempt to be stoned for three hours. Anyway, one of these days I show up all low-eyed and they had dissection kits on our lab benches, and I'm like, "cool, we're cutting sh*t open, I can get into that." But the T.A. spent like 2 hours talking about some others science sh*t and I was getting antsy.
So the lab was two rows of lab tables, two seats each, and each seat had it's own electrical socket box on top of the table at the back. I have no idea what possessed me to do this, but I took the tweezers from the dissection kit, stuck them in the electric socket just enough to have the tip catch the top of socket and stay there if I let go. Then I just jammed it in with the palm of my hand and pulled away real fast. This thing starts going off like the 4th of July, popping and sparking and sh*t, haha. The girl I shared the bench with just thought I was the funniest guy ever and laughed at anything and everything I did or said, and this was no exception. So that made me lose it and start cracking up, like one of those uncontrollable crack-ups when you think you're going to suffocate because you're laughing so hard that you can't breathe. The T.A. is all, "Um, is everything OK back there?" and I'm just dying and can't get myself together to answer. She of course looks at me like I'm crazy but continues with the class.
The coup de grace came later when she calls us over to the side of the room to gather around this thingamajig that spins test tubes really fast, I want to say it's called a centrifuge, but don't quote me on that. Anyway, some old dude in the class comes up like, "Hey buddy, be careful, we don't want you getting hurt", all condescending, haha. Then the T.A. goes to turn on the centrifuge (?) and nothing happens. She goes " OK, well, APPARENTLY, power is blown out on this side of the room..." and shoots me the nastiest look, hahaha. Pretty classic. Absolutely idiotic move by me, although I was completely aware of what could happen, which probably makes it even dumber, haha.
Most Helpful Guy
I wasn't thinking one day and I tried to open the fridge door with my work swipe card. Man what a dumbass.1