Ex dumped and blocked me 2 weeks ago, wants to speak to me again about how I'm "coping"? What does she want?

Ok so me and my ex girlfriend had been together for a year before she broke up with me 2 weeks ago. We are both 20, our relationship was extremely serious we both felt like we were soulmates etc we went to Paris after 2 months of our relationship, then Egypt after 4 months. Just to show you how serious we were about eachother.

Fast forward to this situation and she dumped me because she said if I don't earn more than her by the time it's time to get married she will never marry me and leave me. I thought this was shallow and just disagreed, I didn't even get angry or anything even though I did think it was shallow I just was like no I disagree etc. After saying that she wanted to cuddle in bed as normal and I just wasn't in the mood for it, so I just stayed on the other side of the bed. She then got angry and dumped me, saying she doesn't want any contact until Jan 28th which is the end of our Christmas holidays. She left, blocked me on messenger and Facebook. Took a picture of us down on Facebook and blocked my number. It's been two weeks and I have felt a whirlwind of emotions sadness that she blocked me but then also relief because it's for the best.

Anyway so I'm in the process of getting over her and forgetting about her and moving on but her behaviour has changed now. On Christmas eve at midnight when it became Christmas day she unblocked me on messenger, usually I send out happy bday/merry Christmas at midnight. She unblocked me and when I came online and didn't send her a merry Christmas she blocked me again. Next day she unblocked me on Facebook, didn't add me or message me but just unblocked me, why I don't know. 2 days after that she now calls me? I don't pick up then she texts me saying she feels ready to talk to me now after the break up and wants to see how I am coping? Why would she do that when one she said no contact till Jan 28th, 2 she dumped me so why is she even contacting me. What should I do as well, I don't see myself responding because I don't even want to speak to her I have exams to focus on and I don't want her back so I'm just going to ignore it, what do you think?

In the last two months of our relationship she dumped/threatened to dump me on average once a week. No exaggeration literally once a week we would argue over something petty and she would either dump me or threaten to leave me. Every single time she has broken up with me she has apologized the next day and told me she didn't mean it. One time she said she sometimes breaks up with me to get a reaction from me as I'm too laid back and calm sometimes. What do you think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • My take is that she dumps you very casually and changes her mind frequently. I doubt that she expected you to hold out for so long. I'm sure she wants you to accept her back so that the cycle can continue. I see no problem with allowing no contact before Jan 28th since she set that date. If you relent you will be starting the cycle all over again. That's okay if you have firmly decided to break it off with her for good and you want to get it over with. Waiting has the advantage of forcing her to live with the uncertainty of her stupid and cruel games for an excruciatingly long time. You need decide what you will tell her when you do talk. If you break it off, I suggest you have nothing more to do with her ever. Any contact would be treated as a step on the path to reconciliation. If you want to make another go of it, I suggest that you tell her that she cannot break up with you and expect to get back together like that. Dictate a time of no contact (say a week or two) and hold very firm on it. She needs to suffer consequences for her horribly selfish and irresponsible behavior. Ultimately you would need to get to the heart of why she does it (getting a rise out of you is not a good explanation) and train her out of such childish behaviors. As I write it seems like so much effort that it makes my head spin!

    • That's the thing knowing her, the whole message about wanting to see how I'm coping for me could have ulterior motives like her wanting to get close to me again. Which I do not want. I just kinda of want to be done with it, I don't know if I could handle not speaking to her ever again in life though. I do think I need to talk to her for closure after jan 28th just to tell her there is no chance and to hear her out just so my mind can be settled. But I don't want her back though.

    • That seems reasonable. She seems like way too much work!

    • It's weird though, it's hard to accept how manipulative and controlling she was because I did love her for a whole year. But I have literally put the facts of what she has done down plain and simply and everyone I have asked has told me the same thing, that she selfish and manipulative for dumping me then wanting me back, but I never really could full believe she could be all these things to be honest. But's it's probably because I loved her, love clouds your judgement.

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What Girls Said 3

  • To me it sounds like she doesn't know what she wants from you or for herself. Tell her that she maybe be ready to talk but you are not and stick with the January date. Take care of your finals and get your mind straight about what you want for yourself and if she falls it that category then tell her that relationships should not be an on and off again thing every week and a break up should not be a threat.

  • From a girls perspective this behaviour is complete crap. I see it all the time, it's oh if you say something I don't like its over. This will never ever ever end, don't jump back in the mind game pool, swim away! Don't even get me started on the salary comment. If this ever happens again (and it probably will with someone) say to them that you won't get back with someone, if its over, that's it. The catch is you have to stick to it or you lose all credibility. It helps get rid if this stuff Though and means she has to seriously consider the decision not just throw it out there as a threat

    • Amazing answer man, your totally right man. I think I didn't help but made it worse because the first time she did it I should have just stopped speaking to her and told her to stick with her decision, that would have taught her a lesson. But each time she I would think she just being overly emotional and irrational so I'd calm her down and not really take her seriously and that would be it. But in actuallity because of that she learned to use breaking up with as a control mechanism

    • Yep been there, good luck!

  • She misses you. If you want to be able to move on, then you need to not talk to her. It'll be better for you in the long run

    • That's the thing, by her saying she wants to see how I'm coping it may seem like she just wants to be friendly. But she also breaks up with me then regrets it so I think she may have ulterior motives than just being friendly. Besides I really don't even want to talk or deal with her right now either way. Should I not speak to her until after exams or should I just continue to ignore her forever? What do you reckon?

What Guys Said 1

  • she sounds like a no good bitch, Maybe she wants to punish you and control you that's what I'm thinking now but I also suspected that it was cruel and hateful intent just to watch you wallow in your misery or maybe she's sorry and wants to get back with you but I doubt that.


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